Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
ContentGuiding questions:
Tone and BalanceGuiding questions:
Sources and ReferencesGuiding questions:
OrganizationGuiding questions:
Images and MediaGuiding questions: If your peer added images or media
For New Articles OnlyIf the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
Overall impressionsGuiding questions:
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.
Additional Resources |
General info
edit- Whose work are you reviewing?
User:Lilybillow
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Lilybillow/Mandala
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Mandala
Evaluate the drafted changes
editGreetings,
Lead
editAlthough the introduction was not written by you, you can add citation to the [citation needs] in the introduction if you can find appropriate materials.
Content
editThe way you chose to add content is very interesting, which is more than I had expected!Yes, Sand Madala is also part of Mandala.
In your article, I think that "five years" is not the focus of Sand Mandala. The Sand Mandala which takes several weeks or even years to make will be destroyed after praying and let the Sand return to nature is the important part. In this regard, you can refer to these materials you had found.
Where do you think this article should be added to? My suggestion is that you might consider the Vajrayana part of the Mandala entry "In Vajrayana Buddhism,Mandalas has been developed also into sandpainting. [1]"and based on Vajrayanba[1] to do more research.
In the article you wrote "To create these mandalas first the monks sketch the intricate designs using rulers and compasses," but that's not true.Please go back and look at the material you have marked.
Finally, I think there is a subjective part of your editing, and I hope you can re-read your writing and neutralize it.
--Yayun Zheng (talk) 02:49, 16 July 2021 (UTC)