To be honest, I would prefer you not message me at all, for any reason. I do not allow messages posted to me on Wikipedia to interrupt my real life, so I will read your message when I next log in, which might be months or years from now.
Pretty much every message I receive makes me even more cynical and despairing about the quality of this well intentioned experiment. Rather than nagging me, do something useful. Start an article. Copy edit an article. Add some citations somewhere. God knows they are needed.
I have a high expectation of civility. You have probably already offended me. My time is valuable. If I have taken the time to do something on Wikipedia, I would very much like to be treated with a minimum of respect. The gap in tone between Wikipedia policy pages and the way editors communicate is just astonishing, and I will probably never get over it.