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Michael Woehr (Lord Mike VII) (Oct, 5,2000b.c) is a 7 foot 6 professional cup pong player. He grew up in Cario, Egypt, and was friends with Cleopatra. In 2007, he moved to America and began his journey as a professional donkey wrangler. In 2009, the donkey that goes by the name "Jimmy John Jones" Kicked Mr. Woehr in the mullet. He was left with an autoimmune disorder called alopecia and has been balding ever since. In 1492, Michael Woehr came into an encounter with Squanto. Mr. Squantos Wife, Sacagawea, soon became Michael Woehr's spouse. Michael Woehr and Squanto had a boxing match on April 33, 1493. In round 2, Michael Woehr knocked out Squanto securing his victory and He soon married Scagewea. Michael Woehr Famously Said, "Do you want safe passage across the river?"