Moly

This is Moly ICQ# 4867750 AOL IM: JesseLived

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If I were to live my life in catfish forms in scaffolds of skin and whiskers at the bottom of the pond and you were to come by

   one evening 

when the moon was shining down into my dark home and stand there at the edge

   of my affection 

and think, "It's beautiful here by this pond. I wish

   somebody loved me," 

I'd love you and be your catfish friend and drive such lonely thoughts from your mind and suddenly you would be

   at peace, 

and ask yourself, "I wonder if there are any catfish in this pond? It seems like a perfect place for them." -Richard Brautigan

Hi Everyone, I'm Moly. I'm working on a Ph.D. in math. My Bachelor's was in Creative Writing and Literature. Math is an art form to me. Math is my passion , and I'm following my passion. I believe that mathematics is a divine language, the LOGOS that forms the universe, and I feel that my perspective is under-represented in this culture.

I went to a very old, conservative, traditional single-sex boarding school for high school. I went to college four times before someone was sane enough to give me a degree, during which time I changed my major five times. I intimidate the worst kind of educators, especially bureaucratic ones. I'm largely self-taught, despite my many hours stuck in a classroom. I have studied with geniuses and morons, and have found I've become the Marriage of Genius and Moron as a result.

I have set foot on every continent except Antarctica. I have had the good fortune to meet many of my greatest living heroes. I am a black belt in aikido. I wear a cowboy hat and carry a guitar wherever I go. I ate breakfast once in a cowboy-boot shop in Nashville with my cousin Pete and we ate ham and eggs and grits while two grizzled old honky-tonkers played Country standards and tourists bought gaudy cowboy boots. I have heard lions roar on the African savannah at sunset and had to drink a stiff drink to keep from trembling. I have sat on Galactic Councils as Earth's representative, and met creatures from fourteen different galactic civilization. I believe that The Basement Tapes , by Bob Dylan and the Band, John Coltrane's Meditations , Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow , and Euler's formula:

                                                       eiø  = cos ø + i sin ø

are examples that our species are capable of art.

I know I am a great person if only because the greatest people I've ever met have befriended me throughout my life. I know for a fact that God adores me with an emotion so strong that I would drop dead were I ever to feel that much emotion. I tend to worry about mediocre people and the way they misunderstand me. I blend obviousness with subtlety, and I find it the case that most people latch onto the obvious and give up trying to see the subtlety. I take great pleasure in being obvious, but I also take great pleasure in being subtle.

I still grieve every day over the death of my friends, Bobby Sheehan and Terence McKenna, as well as for the death of Lenny Bruce, of Hank Williams, of Elvis Presley, of Buddy Holly, of Jimi Hendrix, of Jerry Garcia, of Janis Joplin, of Richard Manuel, of Rick Danko, of Frank Zappa, of Oscar Wilde, of Charles Baudelaire, of Alan Turing, of countless millions of my people in the Holocaust. And, like the old blues song says, on a good day I have the blues.

And yet, I see heaven in a little flower, the world in a grain of sand, and eternity in an hour. The stupidest things give me great joy. I love bad sci-fi movies where the monster suits have visible zippers, the villain gives an incoherent, but misanthropic speech, and the director cuts in way too much military stock footage. I love to drink whiskey and sing bluegrass music and pick at my guitar. I would do math even if it were a jailable offense to study math. I walk around stoned on the pleasures life affords me.