Here are some of those goofy user boxes that apply to me, in no particular order. Not every box that applies to me is listed here.

Wikipedia stuff

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  This user has been on Wikipedia for 18 years, 8 months and 20 days.
This user works on bad link repair - You can help!
 Warning to Vandals: This user is armed with VandalProof.
 This user is a member of the
Counter-Vandalism Unit.
9,000+This user has made more than 9,000 contributions to Wikipedia.
 This user believes that a user's edit count does not necessarily reflect on the value of their contributions to Wikipedia.
 This editor is a WikiGnome.
<ref>This user would like to see everyone using inline citations. Please...
 This user tries to do the right thing. If they make a mistake, please let them know.
no
ads
This user is against advertisements on Wikipedia.
 This user has created 9 userboxes.
 This user spends far too much time editing his user page.
 

Personal

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 This user is a Wikipedian in Canada.
 This user is a proud Canadian.
 This user is Canadian, eh?
 This user comes from Ontario.
 This user has visited 6 of the 10 provinces and 3 territories of Canada.6
enThis user is a native speaker of the English language.
 Alba
This user is of Scottish ancestry.
DadThis user is a father and proud of it!
 This user has an affiliation with the University of Waterloo.
eπi+1=0This user is a mathie.
BMathThis user has a Bachelor of Mathematics degree.
UWOThis user has an affiliation with the University of Western Ontario.
MScThis user has a Master of Science degree.
 This user supports the fight against breast cancer.
  This user has arranged for organ donation; have you?

Hobbies, etc.

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This user maintains a blog at Cut the Chatter, Red Two .
  This user has a website, which can be found here.
LJThis user maintains a LiveJournal  as @GraemePerrow.
 
This user maintains a Facebook profile.
  This user contributes using Mozilla Firefox.
 
This user uses Gmail as a primary email service.
 This user's news source is The Onion.
STAR WARSThis user is a Star Wars fan.
STAR TREKMrBoo is a fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation.TNG
 This user is interested in The Jedi Order.
My ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is.
FGThis user thinks Family Guy is freakin' sweet.
LOTR This user loves The Lord of the Rings, both the books and the films.
 This user plays the guitar.
gtr-2This user is an intermediate guitarist.
arg-3This user is an advanced air guitarist.
 This user enjoys rock music.
 This user enjoys
heavy metal music.
 This user appreciates progressive rock.
 This user is a fan of Metallica.
DTThis user is a fan of Dream Theater.
CSThis user has a long way to run.
RUSHThis user has no heart to lie.
 This user loves
The Beatles.
SKThis user enjoys the works of Stephen King.
HPThis user is a Harry Potter fan.
Mis This user can hear the people sing.
 This user has been touched by His Noodly Appendage.
 

Professional

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 This user is a software engineer.
prog-4This user is an expert programmer.
C-4This user is an expert C programmer.
c++-4This user is an expert C++ programmer.
objc-3This user is an advanced Objective-C programmer.
HTML-3This user is an advanced HTML user.
xhtml-3This user is an advanced XHTML user.
Perl-2This user is an intermediate Perl programmer.
PHP-2This user is an intermediate PHP programmer.
py-2This user is an intermediate Python programmer.
Java-2This user is an intermediate Java programmer.
TclThis user is a Tcl scripter.
   

Sports

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TORThis user is a fan of the
Toronto Rock
TORThis user is a fan of the
Toronto Maple Leafs
'93 This user knows Kerry Fraser should have called Gretzky for highsticking Gilmour.
OTTThis user is a fan of the
Ottawa Senators
TORThis user is a fan of the
Toronto Blue Jays
TORThis user is a fan of the
Toronto Raptors
 This user enjoys skiing.
 This user plays baseball.
  This user loves lacrosse.