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- Chapter 1
- Chapter Titties
- Chapter 2
- The time I cut my toe off
- Between a Rock and a Hard Place (book)
- Chapter 3
- Rediscovering the Quantum Force within Higher Learning Federal Initiatives
- Federal Reserve System
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 2
- Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
- Chapter 5
- "Whoops, there's my baby!"
- Nicki Minaj
- Chapter 6
- The End of the World's Beginning: New Ancient Epiphanies
- Noumenon
- Chapter 7
- Pools of Brown
- Chapter 8
- "Oprah's Pickle Jar" and other Unsolved Mysteries
- Chapter 9
- Clash's Cartoon Classics
- Chapter 10
- The Gentrification of Extremities and Excremental Downsizing in Southern North Dakota
- If I Were a Boy