User:Noienoah/1977 NBA All-Star Game/JLR02 Peer Review
Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
ContentGuiding questions:
Tone and BalanceGuiding questions:
Sources and ReferencesGuiding questions:
OrganizationGuiding questions:
Images and MediaGuiding questions: If your peer added images or media
For New Articles OnlyIf the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
Overall impressionsGuiding questions:
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.
Additional Resources |
General info
edit- Whose work are you reviewing?
Noienoah
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Noienoah/1977 NBA All-Star Game
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- 1977 NBA All-Star Game
Evaluate the drafted changes
editLead - The information you added is helpful in giving an overview of the game. As someone who knows basically nothing about basketball, your new lead tells me a lot more about why this game was notable than the old stub. One concern is that you have not added any sources. Where did you find the information to add it here? If you just knew it already (impressive), try finding a newspaper article, ESPN report, or a similar credible source that backs you up.
Content - The content that is here is good! I like that your lead covers why the game was notable beyond just the basic stats. I think your article could be stronger by adding some more prose about the game itself - was there any drama about roster selection, the NBA-ABA merger, during the game itself, etc? I know a lot more about baseball than basketball, but I think the article about the 2010 MLB ASG is a good example of prose. You could also flesh out the article by adding some information about why this game was relevant after the fact. Was it a notable player's first or last all star game? Were any records set or broken? This could also be a place to find some more sources to back up your article.
Tone/Balance - You're doing a good job at keeping a neutral/unbiased tone in the article. I don't really have any issues here; you'll want to maintain this tone as you add more content to the article.
Sources/References - The main issue here is that you haven't added any! The information you've added to the lead seems solid, but there are no citations to support it. In fact, to me it looks like no sources at all have been added to this article since 2008. This means you have a lot of room to improve upon what's already there. Luckily, it should be pretty straightforward to find information on this - Kaylea has made some good suggestions like searching sports history e-books or newspaper archives. You might also try ESPN, Sports Illustrated, or similar sports-focused publications.
Organization - Like other sections, what you already have is good but could be made stronger with some additions. I think the lead is solid, but this article feels like it's lacking some more content that is prose and not just tables with names and numbers. You could add sections about the game itself, any relevant aftermath/legacy, or other categories you think are relevant. Also, I did make a couple copy-edits in your lead section - these are just my ideas, though. It's your article!
Images/Media - There aren't any images on the page currently. However, you obviously can't time travel and take photos that are your personal work, so I'm not sure how difficult it would be to find media you'd be allowed to use. Maybe things like game logos, jersey designs, etc could be found somewhere under public license? I will admit I don't know much about this though.
Overall - You've got a solid start! For example, the information you have added has a good tone that is appropriate for an encyclopedic article. You could make it stronger by adding some sources to back up this information and some additional prose (writing) relevant to the game. What you've already added is on the right track though. Keep it up and add some sources and you will be good to go.