| Wednesday, April 29, 2009
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| If the U.S. military ever institutes a national draft, I hope to hell they took ideas from the NFL and the NBA, since their drafts are the only ones the majority of Americans are interested in.
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| Thursday, April 30, 2009
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| The NFL should realign its divisions and conferences. The fact that the Dolphins are in the AFC East while the Buccaneers and Jaguars are in the NFC South—with Miami being further south than both of them—makes no sense at all. The same applies to the Cowboys for being in the NFC East even though they're in Texas. Come on, now.
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| Friday, May 1, 2009
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| I wonder if there has ever been a case of an airplane pilot in danger not being taken seriously on May 1. "Mayday! Mayday!" "Yeah, we know." That would be horrible.
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| Saturday, May 2, 2009
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| The rest of your day would be ruined if you cooked bacon for breakfast in the nude.
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