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If I'm not me, who the hell am I?
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I, Ryannus am one of many Ryannus from days gone by. My current form was born in Letterkenny and now resides in Derry. I spent the formative years of my youth in Strathfoyle, studying The Way of the Strahead under the tutelage of a number of established elder Straheads. Occasionally, I chose to study at the educational establishment that is St Columb's College, where my thirst for knowledge was effectively drained from my being. I am a pioneer now, looking onto a promised land.[1]
In Mythology
editRyannus is a legendary warrior from days gone by. He has been present on many battlefields through the ages and will continue to appear on these battlefields in the future. He delights in the telling of decidedly unwholesome and grim tales and it is his lust for literature and general bullshitting that makes him stand out as a Leader among Men. In early 2007, a reincarnation of Ryannus questioned the might of the supreme warlord and current St. Columb's College dictator, Tommy B (the surname or meaning behind the initial B is unknown, with many scholars speculating that it is in fact Badass). He almost met his demise, but, Ryannus' spirit was not to be defeated so easily. Ryannus has vowed to have his "sweet lasting revenge"(see Count of Monte Cristo). Ryannus is famous for his nonchalant attitude towards authority and recently destroyed the acclaimed playwright and English teacher, Martin Meenan in a digital bout of Mortal Kombat 3. Meenan was said to be distraught at the defeat.
It has been widely speculated that Ryannus and his esteemed associate, JayC90 plan on one day leading a successful coup d'état to finally free Ireland from the despair of oppression and deliver the country into a new thousand year reign. These speculations are of course, complete and utter fabrications intent on scaring the public (see scaremongering).
Acknowledgements
editDisclaimer
editI hereby state that the above literature is largely fictitious and I will not accept responsibility for any instance where a reader has taken it to be truth.