Who am I? What am I? Is anyone likely to actually read this? Do you know me?

The answers are: Maybe, someone, no, and I'm me. But maybe not in that order.

Yeah, my userpage is pretty pathetic, huh? Well, I'll make up for it by posting a ridiculously large amount of USERBOXES!

Talk to me here

My ridiculously large and completely random collection of userboxes

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 This user is a Christian.
  This user is visiting from an alternate universe.
 This user has a sense of humour and shows it through the use of userboxes.
1337This user is elite.
WWCNDWhat Would Chuck Norris Do?
egoThis user is a deluded egomaniac.
 Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?
 This user is evil, and frequently says mwhahaha!
 This user does not exist. However, if this user begins to exist, seek shelter immediately.
 This user is a Pirate. Arrr!
awesomeThis user is totally awesome!
 This user is being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory! Help! Ooooh.. here's a good one! Confucius says you will be held hostage in a fortune cookie factory.
 This user is a constructive powerhouse and is ready for anything.
.....This user is a professional procrastinator.
 This user might be a redneck
SARCThis user believes sarcasm is the highest form of wit.
blah blah blahThis user is full of a bunch of long, rambling stories.
There's a funny story about that...
 This user is a wombat, or at least thinks that he or she is.
 This user finds that comedy is the best way to communicate.
IThis user is a fan of Improvisational comedy.
PhThis user is a fan of Physical comedy.
PrThis user is a fan of Prop comedy.
SUThis user is a fan of Stand-up comedy.
fan-3This user thinks that Jeff Foxworthy is the greatest comedian of all time.
 This user eats cheese.
 This user loves to eat fries, or chips.
 This user loves to eat pizza.
 This user is a fan of Heroes. Ordinary people discovering extraordinary abilities.
 This user eats popcorn.
 This user eats potato chips.
 This user loves spaghetti.
 This user is a waffle eater.
 This user eats potatoes.
 This user eats chicken.
 This user loves hamburgers.
 This user loves brownies.
 
This user loves cake.
 This user eats chocolate.
 This user eats M&Ms.
 This user eats Peanut Butter Cookies.
 This user drinks hot chocolate.
  This user drinks chocolate milk.
 This user drinks water regularly.
CThis user can't make up their mind if Coke or Pepsi is better and drinks both.P
 This user is a Wikipedian.
 This user believes that articles are useless without images.
d'oh!This user thinks The Simpsons is simply... excellent.
  This user DOES NOT live in a pineapple under the sea.
This user is a heroic Autobot.
LOSTThey are looking for this user in the wrong place...
o_OThis user is a moderate fan of anime.
This user is a Hokage.
ROCKThis person favours Rockman.EXE as his/her NetNavi
 This user is a fan of the Dragon Ball franchise.
DThis user is a Digidestined.
 This user is a Pokémon fan.
XThis user is a follower of Battōsai the Slasher.
HPThis user is a Harry Potter fan.
G This user is a Gryffindor.
 This user overuses userboxes.
 This user needs just one more userbox on their page!
MOREThis user has more userboxes.
Userboxes Rock!This user is a userbox!
 This user needs more userboxes. MORE, I tell you, more!!! Muhahaha!
way too many ubxsThis user has way too many userboxes.
ubxThis user uses userboxes.
ubx-5This user uses entirely too many userboxes.
 This user likes to use redundant userboxes that are redundant.
Too many userboxesThis user may have too many userboxes ... nah, no way!!
 This user prefers using userboxes to fill up their user page instead of actually writing something useful.
  This user has no userboxes on their userpage.