i am scott
I once wrote an essay like this Scott O Period 2
The Ways in Which the School Known as Wilmington High School Can Be Changed For the Better and Not For the Worse
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to come to a new land and start a new town, it is important to have public education facilities. However, over time these educational facilities cannot facilitate education due to their decrepit condition and antiquated technology and lack of extracurricular activities. Schools such as those are an injustice to the pupils who deserve a place where they can learn. One such school is Wilmington High School, an absolutely terrible excuse for an institution of secondary education. If this school does not have immediate changes made swiftly, it will fall into an abyss of student apathy and neglect, until it would be better to burn the school down and collect insurance money than to let the nine-hundred or so students complete their education. There is one aspect of Wilmington High School that is not absolutely terrible, and that is its location. The school’s central location is great for commuting to and from the school and reduces traffic because cars do not have to drive far away. However, the one good thing about the school is actually not really that good. By being in the center of the town, there is not that much room for expansion. This lack of space, would destroy most plans for additions because of the ensuing controversies surrounding the eviction of nearby residents of their land. So, even the one good thing about Wilmington High School is actually mixed with bad. One of the most important things that need to be changed is the building itself. In some towns, the schools are symbols of pride and show the town’s investment in future generations. Wilmington is not one of those towns. The school is nin such a runined state with its missing floor tiles, bad wall color, and confusing layout, that it is bad for learning. The best solution would be to tear down the school and build a new one. The new school would take up almost approximately the same amount of space as the current one, however the new school would be much more capacious. The new school would be four stories tall with an underground garage. The underground garage would eliminate the need for any surface parking lots meaning that the parking lot flanking the gym could be plowed over and turned into a garden or something of that nature. Each floor in the school would be set back ten feet from the previous floor, which would create a terraced ziggurat shaped building.
Examples of Exceptionally Good CD’s released in 2006 So, this being the end of the year 2006 I thought it would be fiitng if I compiled a list of all the best CD’s from the year, that way all posterity would know what one particular writer at his high school newspaper thought was the best of all the albums released that year. However I came to the realization that this would be unfeasible because in order to make a fair and unbiased assessment of what were the greatest CD’s of the year I would have to listen to every track of every released recorded media released this year. I also discovered that what one critic considered to be the best album of the year really does not mean anyone to anyone especially fans of another genre. So, I decided to give a list of a bunch of albums that were released this year that were exceptionally good. I feel sort of bad because there were a ton of other albums that were great that were released this year but I didn’t write about them, and maybe I hurt the feelings of the songs, and maybe someday I will look back at this and say, “why didn’t I make any remarks about Destroyer’s Rubies or Peregrine, or Belle and Sebastian, or my friends the hold steady’s boys and girls in america” but this is the way the cookie crumbled, how I felt when I wrote this, and by cookie I mean brain. Wow so much good stuff came out this year. So I hope that the reders realize that there are other great albums other than these ones.
1. There was The Obliterati released by Mission of Burma was replete with righteous tunes. Mission of Burma pretty much changed my life on account of their sheer grooviness. So yeah, Mission of Burma makes good melodious post-punk songs and they released an album. Oh yeah and Mission of Burma is awesome.
2. The Avalanche – Sufjan Stevens. It was made by Sufjan Stevens so in my mind I had the presupposition that this collection of B-Sides would be amazing. This shaped my opinions of the album after I acquired it and listened to it. And because of this I think that this album is the best thing ever, because Sufjan Stevens along with Kenesaw Mountain Landis are heroes of my childhood.
3. FutureSex/LoveSounds this is the greatest thing my ears have ever experienced. My brain almost exploded on account of this CD’s unmitigated awesomeness. This CD clearly pwns everything released this year ever. This music will define our generation even if our whole generation dies from some epidemic or something, because it is that good. I am jealous. Basically his CD changed my life. It is amazing. It is wonderful. It is delightful. It is a cromulent example of an embiggening artistic masterpiece. GO! Justin Timberlake and thanks for saving my life.
4. Bottoms of Barrels- Tilly and the Wall. A fairly reputable source informed me that this CD is good and I believe them. Mostly because after someone told me this I listened to it and thought it was kind of amazing. It almost made me want to go to the store and buy it, or shoplift it, but in the end I was content with downloading all the songs from the internet. Yey!
5. The Eraser - This is one of the best albums of the year because I said so and that is enough logic. How do I love thee? let me count the ways. One, two, three four, five, six. Let us just say it is the most intelligent danceable musical intelligent dance music ever made. Songs are about topics ranging from the death of Dr, David Kelley, to black outs, to global warming. If any album this list defines the era that we occupy right now it is this one. And I am not just saying that because it was made by the lead frontperson of Radiohead, I really do truly believe that.
6. Ys. – Joanna Newsom. This CD has nice cover art, so it probably has nice music. I think that is a logical assumption to make. She plays the harp. How novel! Steve Albini produced it, how doubleplusnovel!
7. Rabbit fur coat – Gee, this CD sure is swell. It sort of reminds me of songs people would sing if they were working on the railroad. Actually I am not sure if I really think that, but someone told me that and it seemed a reasonable so that became my feeling towards this work. It is like gospel only it is not about the gospels, so I guess it isn’t really gospel. Oh yeah .
8. Gulag Orkestar – Beirut. If I were to chose an album that was my number 1 for the year this is it. This is the best album of the year. That is not an opinion. Nor is it a sarcastic statement. This is fact. Gulag Orkestar is changed my life. This has inspired me to pack up all my things and travel around Europe creating ethnic sounding songs. So this is the end of my list because I am going to Europe now. Bye.
For some peculiar reason, there always seems to be inordinate amount of lights strung about for no good reason. Sure it is the Christmas Season, but I said a good reason. The reasons that I dislike Christmas lights are many. Firstly they serve no purpose. Allegedly they fill people with Christmas spirit, but I cannot see how coruscating bulbs of light will make people full of Christmas cheer or spirit. They are just lights. However other than serving no purpose at all they are a waste of energy. Think of all the houses all over the world with holiday lights on and how much more energy must be consumed. This is energy that could be saved for future days when there are no more sources of energy left on earth. In addition holiday lights are a distraction to motorists and result in traffic and accidents. Traffic leads to increased air pollution. Air pollution leads to global warming. Therefor Holidays lights are causing Global warming. It is for that reason that holiday lights strung inside or outside homes should be banned.
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editWhy you should always do the right thing and not do drugs by Scott grade 11 I like the sunshine when it filters through the Venetian blinds into my office, which overlooks the highway. Jane likes it too. Jane is sitting on my leather couch right now and she is filing her nails. She looks like she is really bored. I bought this couch from Crate and Barrel. I can afford a couch from crate and Barrel because I am a rich successful psychologist. Go me! So yeah I was going to say something, but I forgot what it was, so I’ll get back to you on that. In other news, Jane and I are having an illicit romantic escapade. It is fun I guess. My wife doesn’t mind because she doesn’t know. My mistress doesn’t mind because she doesn’t know either. Nor do my nine concumbines, for the same reason. Jane is pretty much the love of my life of the week. I knew we would be lovers from when she became a patient of mine two weeks ago. She claimed to have problems stemming from being in a string of abusive relationships. I, being extremely smart and resourceful was able to play this to my advantage by manipulating her emotions and luring her to be my love object of the moment. I took her to the finest shops of Rodeo Drive, and also to the best plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills. It should be mentioned that when I first met her she was 350 pounds and had a really ugly face. She was not so much a butter face as a butt she is very ugly, and therefore not a legitimate member of society. I decided to make her my little project. My receptionist, Paulio and I made a bet for 3,000 dollars and 60 80 mg tablets of Roxicondone, that I would be able to change Jane from a really, really ugly worthless human being, into someone who I wouldn’t mind having a cup of tea with at Tea-Pee Bistro, the most extravalent bistro in the city. So, I had my clothes designer friend Ricardoloco Awesomeante design Jane an elegant cocktail dress, and paid 300,000,000 dollars to Dr. 90210 to liposuck 250 lbs from Jane’s body, and rearrange her face so it didn’t make me want to throw up. So thanks to this really expensive growth hormone that is usually reserved for people who are going to die, I was able to have Jane recover in only a few hours instead of a few years. This leads me to right then, a pivotal moment in the history of the world, with me standing next to a counter topped with gray faux marble and an ultrasleek coffee maker on top. The coffee machine was a silver shade of chrome with a black spout. It was made by the Sharper Image and had a patented ergonomic filter holder, with a digital keypad backlighted with blue LCD lights. Next to it I had a collection of flavor packages to give my coffee a unique flavor. There was were four shelves on top of that which contained highfalutin literature snob books I have never read, but make me seem smart. Across from that is my desk. It is real solid cherry not fake cherry. There is an HP pavilion computer on it. My computer was playing the fifth track from the CD Loveless by My Bloody Valentine. Sunlight was filtering into the 26th floor office although there was a shadow cast from the top 24 stories above. Sunlight could come in from both sides because it was a corner office. The shades were black. The building had white steel beams that supported it.
I looked out the window towards the setting sun as motorists idled on Interstate 5 and felt truly happy. This is because I was on Vicodin, Valium, OxyContin, Xanax, and had been drinking too. I turned to Jane and said “ Let’s go to Costco.”
She said alll right. So we began to walk out of the office door towards the door. Then she turned into a monster with 9 heads and the body of a lizard. She began spitting out flaming balls of carbolic acid onto the floor, and onto my partners’ offices I was unsure what to do at that moment, so I ran to the bank to buy scratch tickets. Fortunately for me my bank occupied the other half of my floor By the time I made it to the bank, Jane had eaten everyone in the waiting room. But I didn’t really mind because I was on a bunch of drugs. The bank had messed up my order and said that I was in debt. As a result I began to start shooting everyone in the bank. This set of a burglary alarm, which was actually the song “Show Stopper” by Danity Kane. That atrocious lowlight of Western civilization prompted me to I leave the bank portion of the floor only to discover the hallway was full of armed transport vehicles which were shooting up everything in their path before driving out a window onto the ground twenty six stories below. A burly man in a business suit walked up to me and said, “Do you have authorization to be here? I retorted, “Do you have authorization to be here?” Then he punched me in the face really hard. I mean like really, really hard. This caused me to black out. The last thing I remembered was that it was snowing ferociously outside, which is rather unusual for Southern California. When I woke up I was in a jail cell of some sort. It was made out of the gummy material, which is what makes gummy bears gummy, so I was able to eat my way out of it. A man walked up to me and said I am your real father. Then he ran away, ripped a wall clock of a wall and ate it. I was pretty sure the clock wasn’t edible either. I mean, it looked like a real functional, plastic clock. Oh well. I decided to call my boyfriend using my LG Chocolate phone. I looked at the time on my watch and it appeared that it was actually three minutes earlier than when I shot everyone in the bank. So the conversation went a little like this: Me: Hey Him: hi, honey Me I am in a prison cell made out of gummy bear material. Him: I just converted to rastafariansim. Me: okay Him; I am going to jump off a cliff into the gulf of Talinn as the president floats by in a boat. Hangs up. (how uncannily similar to our current circumstances I must say, maybe you should not ride in boats as much Mr., President) Me: So I wasn’t sure what to make of that, but lately everything was so strange, the hot acid spewing lizard, the armored transport vehicles, the blizzard, the gummy jail cell, and now my boyfriend’s suicide. SO I decided to sit in the fetal position until I realized what was going on. Then a creature that looked like a neon fairy shrimp appeared near the ceiling and descended down towards me. It said watch this video and then gave me a hyperlink which was <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGs5mn-rM5k>. So after like thirty seconds of me sitting there it got angry and it flashed a plethora, that’s right a plethora of colors at me. I was too mesmerized by the colors to realize that I was suddenly strapped in a bed in what appeared to be a hospital in a place with a strobe light at the window. An upright-walking dog walked into the room in doctor scrubs. He stuck a catheter into my aorta and started pumping blood out of me. At the same time he had a tube going into my leg, which was filling my blood with what was labeled as liquid nitrogen. I began to start losing consciousness. When I awoke I was in an office being interrogated by either a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I cannot tell the difference between the two even though my profession is described by one of those words. I heard him say, “Yes and make sure you take your anti-psychotic medicine or you will have to go back to they Carzy Hospital for the Mentally Insane and Crazy.” I said, “So you mean it was just a dream, a deluded fantasy, and that nothing was that was just happening was actually happening, and I am only insane, not crazy?” “Well, what have you just experienced?” he responded. “Well I was either a psychiatrist or a psychologist and I had three girlfreinds a boyfriend, a wife, and a plastic surgeon, and I worked on the 26th floor of a really tall building and one of my girlfriends turned into a lizard beast which spat out flaming carbolic acid, and there was a gummy bear jail cell. Asparagus, nicotine, bubblegum, this is my life don’t you understand, watch the spaghetti-o’s they are made of CDs which call me on the phone, I said” My shrink said, “Ummm, er, ah, like, um, you know, yeah, actually yes, yes yes, it was. I t was 100percent definitely a fantasy” I was thankful because that was scary. It was all a delusion of a delusional person. Unfortunately the ceiling turned into hot fudge, and then Swarovski Crystals began to start falling on us. Then people dressed as forest rangers, presumably forest rangers, began to start falling on us. The ceiling had collapsed on us because hot fudge is a liquid and liquids do not stand up like solids do. The forest rangers were all dying on impact and smattering into millions of pieces. I asked my doctor what I was to do. He said that he was actually a walrus. And, he actually was a walrus, a walrus full of Styrofoam packaging peanuts. It seemed like there was nothing I could do. There was nowhere I could run for cover from the forest rangers, because all the ceilings within a 500 mile radius had turned into either ketchup, or hot fudge. In addition to forest rangers fire-breathing dragons and Boeing 747s were crashing into the ground left and right. I figured it was only a matter of seconds until I was crushed or burned alive. Then a magical talking harmonica came from the sky and said, “The only way to make this stop is to speak with the ScreechingDragonGoat.” Then the magical talking harmonica was struck by lightning and it exploded into a trillion little pieces and then fell into hot fudge, which was 5000 degrees Celsius. I could see that the ScreechingDragonGoat was standing right next to me, so I asked it if he would stop it. He said, “okay, I don’t see why not.”
I asked, “Is that all I have to do to make it stop.” To which he responded,
“ Well now that you mention it I have just remembered that the reason I am doing this is because I hate California with a passion. So I guess I’ll flood the entire state of California under 150 feet of water for 150 years. Every second for the next 151 seconds the water level will rise 1 foot, and then this will all go away.” I asked him, “ So, that means everyone will drown instead of get hit by a forest ranger, and everyone who isn’t dead yet will die right now in a flood?
“yeah”
“So, what about on El Capitan or Mount Whitney, will the water levels rise there as well?” He said, “Yes, everywhere the water levels will 150 feet so it will the summit of Mt. Whitney will be under 150 feet of water, and the lowest point of Death valley will be under 150 feet of water. This will create large swell of water around mountains, but the water will not all float away, thanks to magic, all water will be at 150 feet above ground level. And, since I have already destroyed most of California, I will destroy Texas in the same manner too right now.” And with that the sky grew clear and all the Swarovski crystals and hot fudge began to dry up. Then a few seconds later a wave of water started washing over me. After about thirty seconds, nearly every thing in sight was destroyed. So at this point both California and Texas were wiped off the map. Tens of millions of people drowned and 1000s of species of animals went extinct. International trade was disrupted for years, and the United States’ Economy collapsed. The Euro became worth 123124214912840957346034322352354950235.9478 American dollars, until all of Europe was invaded by Africans and its inhabitants were turned into slaves. Out of everyone who was in the Greater Los Angeles area when these events unfolded, only ten thousand survived. The rest either died as forest rangers fell on them or in the flood. Jane was one of them. She and I were about to live together forever in Yuma, Arizona, but then her face was not the same since she became a monster spewing flaming acid, so I dumped her. She killed herself a month later.
So here I stand in Tijuana looking at the great ocean wall in a place once known as San Diego on the eve that the flood waters receive, giving a speech on the president’s yacht about how these events unfolded. I cannot wait to see what 150 years under 150 feet of water looks like.
And now, may I add Mr. President, that if it were not for cryonics I would have been dead thousands such as myself would not be able to live to 178 years with a brief period when I am frozen. Do you really want that? Please make sure that congress votes in favor of the pro-cryonics rights bill being passed on Tuesday. All right Jim Lehrer, I am done talking so you can give your speech to the president now, I am going to go for a swim.
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editEverythingwasbeautifulandnothinghurt Kurt Vonnegut, dead as a doornail at age 84 Kurt Vonnegut, the greatest writer ever, other than me, author of such popular and critically acclaimed works as Slaughterhouse Five, Breakfast of Champions, and Galapagos isn’t alive anymore. He was a writer who, much like the song “New Slang,” by the Shins, will change your life. He was born. He was dead. Indiana is where he was born. In New York he died. He was considered by some to be a counterculture icon. However his views where not so much countercultural or radical as they were in favor of logical reasoning and humanism. James Rosen from Fox News, may agree, but it is probably because he does not view the world in the same pessimistically hopeful manner Mr. Vonnegut did. Or maybe Rosen ahs his own personal reasons. In World War II he survived the great calamity of the firebombing of Dresden. He used this as a theme for such books as Slaughterhouse 5. In this book he also brought lots of new words to popular usage. Also there were many nic epictures It is a crying shame that he never won any of the coveted literature prizes in the world. Simply terrible it is that a book as not cool as The Road by Cormac McCarthy would be inducted into Oprah’s club of books and win the Pulitzer Prize, when everything Kurt Vonnegut ever wrote is so much better and more deserving than that really boring book. Wilmington High School students owe it to this man, for all his introspective and humanitarian books, to start a petition which would award Vonnegut the Nobel Prize for Literature posthumously, even though Nobel Prize rules only allow it to be given to the living. I proclaim that our school, Wilmingotn High School, be renamed Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Memorial High School in his honor. It is the least we can do to honor his life, work, and unique spirit. A spirit which has captivated the minds of many readers and influences many writers today. As he said in Slaughterhouse five, so it goes. Although we never met, I am sure that he would want us to move on with our lives and not be preoccupied by his death. I suppose now Kurt has become unstuck in time and is living different parts of his life out of order. Well that was his zamakibo.
“Fergalicious” - number one song of the last 3248 millenniums! Ten years ago Radiohead released OK Computer. It is a really good album. Punk rock is a style of music which changed the course of music history. Jazz is a style of music, which had a large effect on the Jazz Age. When in 2006, Fergie released the single, “Fergalicious,” I could tell that a new era has been ushered in. As a music critic I know music which is awesome, when I hear it, and this song is the awesomest song I have ever heard. In addition to being a catchy song nicely produced song, with a mellifluous melody and euphonious instrumentation, its lyrics make multiple statements about the world. The song makes a bold statement by inventing a brand new word, which undoubtedly puts its associated songwriters and producers of this song in the ranks of such word coiners as Shakespeare. The songs content is profoundly more iconoclastic than any other songs. Never have any songs gone about adding new words to the English language. Also the song makes a statement about the irrationality and arbitrariness of the conventions of the English language. Not only does the song invent an entirely new word and thus create a new way for people to experience and think about the world, but it also spells the word tasty in an entirely new way. This may start a revolution where people abandon accepted spellings of words in lieu of spellings which have more meaning to them. Just as Jazz influenced Jazz Age writers, fergalicious will influence the Fergalicous Age. Soon books will be written that ninety years after their publication, will be read and analyzed by students. English will have evolved so much by then it may be difficult to understand that generation. “Fergalicious” has opened the flood gates which have been saving elitist grammar prescriptivists, and wash in a New World Order of a more logical romantic language. Also people of the “Fergalicious Age will retain other values expressed in the song. People will become healthier because they will, “be up in the gym just working on [their] fitness,” as is asserted in the song. The “Fergalicious” Age will also be noted for Super-Feminism. Women and men will become equal in all respects, like equal pay for men and women thanks to Fergie’s feministic words in her song. As a civilization we are a t a dawn of a new age. Get ready, because the Fergalicious Age is going to happen, and I’m gonna say, “ I called it.” And then you’ll say, “yes you did, please accept this check for one trillion dollars.” Then I’ll say, “okay.”
Props to Richard Rogers for Winning the Pritzker Prize. It was announced that the most esteemed prize in the architectural professions would be awarded to Richard Rogers. Over his long and prodigious careers he designed many revolutionary buildings. He along with bragging rights, he also will get a metal and $100,000. Educated at Yale School of Architecture, he designed some extremely important buildings. One is the Parisian landmark, the Pompidou Centre. It was one of the first time so expressionism was placed into a structure. It is a museum which is a more of a public place than an elitist museum. Another building designed by him is Lloyd’s of London Building. It was a technological and aesthetic marvel. By putting all infrastructures on the outside of the building a clear floor plan was opened up. The building has been cited many times as being a paragon of excellent design. Another innovative building of his, cited by the jury as Pritzker Prize Jury as being important in his selection is the Millennium Dome in London. The structure is made from a durable fiber glass suspended by twelve support towers and a series of masts. The structure is revolutionary in that it weights less than the air it encloses. The Prize has been awarded to many architects over the years, like Zaha Hadid, Frank Gehry, Philip Johnson, Renzo Piano, and Norman Foster. It is meant to reward a lifetime of achievements in an architect’s career. Every year it is presented in a different place. This year it will be held on June 4, 2007 in London, at the Banqueting House, a Renaissance era landmark in London.
SADD Mock Car Crash
On Tuesday May 8, 2007 Wilmington High School’s chapter of SADD held a mock car crash in the Swain school parking lot for hundreds of seniors to demonstrate the deleterious effects of poor judgment.
The scenario was a dramatization of a drunk driving car accident after prom. In the dramatization, a silver Oldsmobile with four passengers was hit by another car driven by an intoxicated driver. In the not drunk car, the backseat passenger was killed from many injuries resulting from the crash. The driver’s side back seat passenger received a bad leg wound, but was not hospitalized. The driver, who experienced a laceration on the forehead from impact with the steering wheel, also was not hospitalized. However the passenger in the front was in critical condition from the accident. He was unable to be moved from the car because head wounds had caused him to become unconscious. Police crews had to use the Jaws of Life, to open up the car in order to bring him to an ambulance..
Meanwhile the driver of the other car, suffering only from a bruise, failed a series of field sobriety tests. She was then taken into police custody, where she had to stay in a jail cell.
Passengers and bystanders stayed near the car and comforted each other. They were shocked by the way a life was taken from them. The mother of the deceased passenger arrived on the scene and was understandably distraught. A crowd had surrounded the deceased, as no one wanted to leave her body. Then policemen instructed them to move as she was placed into a body bag, and then placed in a hearse and taken to Nichols Funeral Home.
Fortunately this horrific scene was only an example of what could happen if people do not use good judgement, by doing things like drunk driving.
It had taken SADD, which stands for students against destructive decisions, a school year worth of preparation for this event. The students of Wilmington should feel eternally indebted to SADD for putting on such a stellar, meaningful production. However it is because of the help they received from The Wilmington Police and Fire Departments, Action Ambulance, WCTV, the school’s administration, and most importantly MS. Estrada for being a mad good group leader that they were able to make such a well-crafted car crash.