"Trust me I'm really there for you"
I personally think that I am a creative writer in a sense. The reason why I say that is because when I write I express myself in so many ways and I use so many techniques when I write. It’s as if the wind is gliding on my paper and it’s as if the trees are writing the lyrics or words. I am often creative when I sing songs. I can change the tone and texture of my voice to match the sound of the piano. Or I am creative when I draw pictures or color in between the lines of trust and equality. Being creative is who I am. I don’t think that I would survive a day without being creative and that’s on gawd. When you look at me what do you see? A girl waiting to take her last breath? Or a girl who is tryna fulfill her destiny? But wait you don’t know the answer.
Depression got me thinking y am I so messed up......Living everyday with a burden of hate and destruction. I wake up everyday feeling lonely and insecure. But why? I pray and I pray hoping for an answer but God aint there so whats da point of living. I cry and I cry until the next morning hoping da next morning would be better but I guess not.People hating on me almost everyday cuz I don't look da way they want me to. Ive been used and used for things that I don't understand. Life's got me worried day in and day out. Making me sick to know who I am. I try my best as an individual but I find my hope slowly fading away with the love I once knew.But wait, once you realize that you aren’t alone that hope is once again renewed. Again, and again we see hope and unity in the future. No gain no pain just life.
Looking at the casket is another way to say hello even though spiritually that’s our way of saying good-bye. But listen and learn to greet good-byes with hellos and feel the burden begin to leave. Trust me when you hold onto your purpose God’s gonna look down on you with a smile. As if nothing was dark in the past. Just know you aren’t alone but I am there to take the last breath for you. You thought nobody was gonna take a bullet for you until you turned around and saw a bullet stuck in my head. You cried and you cried non-stop while my soul slowly reached the heavens. I was always there for you, you just didn’t notice you were so blind but death made you open your eyes to see. I wonder why you looked at me the way you did when I so graciously called your name. It’s because hell was gone and you simply just needed peace and that’s on Gawd. When I write to you I pour my heart out to you for one reason and that’s because I love you.
When I look at the world I see two things. I see hate and love and the most I see surviving now is hate. Now hate is a word full of strong emotions. I say that because when I look at the world I barely see the love that many people are looking for in this world. The people who seem lost or feel that they are nothing have a lack of feeling loved. I used to allow myself to feel unloved. Either because of the things people would say to me. I mean, now I can just ignore what people say and not allow what people say define who I am as a person. I used to feel lost and discouraged until I found out who I really was as a person. And when I figured that out I was able to allow love to be a constant factor in my life instead of hate. Right now I am in high school and trust me there is a lot of drama, and a lot of hate and crap that’s hard to explain.
Sometimes I wonder if I would ever succeed in school. I even used to think that I would not make it through each day without accomplishing my everyday goals. A lot of times I feel sad but I have found people that I love generally because they are funny and sometimes crazy. But I just love their personality and what they bring as human beings. There are a couple of people that I love dearly at school. And here they are: Naraly, Lexie, Kaylesha. These people seem to make me feel happy and they make me feel better whenever I feel down. I love Naraly because she is honest and funny in various ways. Lexie is her own person and she has a beautiful smile. Kaylesha is funny, she can dance, and she also has a beautiful smile. They are all special to me. Very honest individuals. They show love where there's no room for hate. But did you know that the word is like a wildfire? It’s hard to control as well as contain. Every human is different, and has their own point of view on what the world is to them. Some people are most likely to describe the world as a “bad place” or “prison”. But a lot of people don’t know how to describe the world in their own words. The world is full of many cool, strange situations. I mean there are so many known talents, situations, and feelings. And then there are a lot of unknown talents, situations, and feelings that are faced everyday. So how would you describe the world?
Overall, I am telling you how I think the world is. I have listed people that I care about and love. There are so many people that have their own minds and how they feel generally of what the world is to them. I think that when we face certain situations in life we don’t necessarily find the need to have help in life. As I have noticed life really isn’t easy to many people life is like a puzzle. What that means is that there are many things that happen in life and we need to understand that there are missing pieces in our lives so we have to go through a series of struggles to find what we are looking for as human beings.
Life has a series of undeveloped questions that we find ourselves asking at a level of interest. In many different ways and then over time there are some weird but awesome ways we handle figuring out what’s best in our lives. At some point people die trying to unmask the true truth and destiny in their lives. What way do we need to get better in. Or what area is there improvement needed. Now these questions need a more obvious answer. There are many things that happen in life that we may not understand because one we aren’t Jesus and two why should we know certain things in life if it wasn’t meant for us to understand. Sometimes we are pressured by our own curiosity to know things beyond our own intelligence. Which by all means is underestimating.
Written By: Arionna Vinson