On Wikipedia

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 This user is a Constable of the WikiPolice and is currently walking the beat.
 This user watches over Wikipedia with the help of Twinkle!
CUVThis user is dedicated to
cleaning up vandalism.
 This editor is a WikiGnome.

About

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18+This user is an adult.
 This user is right-handed.
 This user is interested in Abrahamic religions.
 This user uses Twitter.
 Oh no: this user has way too many userboxes.
sarThis user is obviously not sarcastic.
Spell Dis usa iis veri goot att speling
 This user is interested in issues related to religious pluralism.
ax2+bx+c=0This user likes algebra.
  This user supports the ban on smoking in public places.

Philosophy

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GodThis user believes in God.
 This user knows the world was created by God's intelligent design
 This user respects women and rejects any violence against women. 
 Everyone has points of view with inherent cultural biases - recognition is the first step to achieving NPOV.
 This user regrets that every local idiot can post a comment on the Internet.

Generic

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 This user supports
renewable energy.
 It's a fact: This user is a tree hugger. 
 This user would like to know what a black hole looks like from inside, but doesn't want to investigate it personally.
 This user enjoys and understands the physics of special and general relativity.
GThis user will use Google before asking dumb questions.
IP addressThis user supports mandatory registration.
</ref>This user finds referencing paranoia disruptive and recommends applying common sense instead.
 This user has been to the end of Wikipedia. Have you?
 This user has read and understood the BIG HUGE FREAKING PURPLE BOX. Have you?
 This user is mortal.
 This user is a scary Ghost.
 It is possible that this user is an alien, but this is not yet proven. Please do not go near this user with loud music.
 This user wishes they owned an
AT-AT.
This user believes penguins will rule the Earth! 
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There are
10
types of people: those who read binary and those who don't.