User talk:AKPosey001/sandbox
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Phbrownacmorg in topic Draft feedback
Draft feedback
edit- + Good topic!
- + A lot of good material
- + Still somewhat short (I see 1013 words). The Advent is rich enough in history (not to mention present) that 1500 words shouldn't be a big problem.
- - Stub material wasn't imported. (That would be a start for getting more material.)
- - Nothing here from Jazmine or Miranda. Get them involved!
- Suggestions for improvement:
- Significant points:
- Focus on the parish, not on the national Episcopal Church. Positions and history of the national church, for example, really belong in the Wikipedia article on the national church (which you should definitely link to, but don't repeat the material).
- Don't forget to mention the diocese. There's a reason the Episcopal Church is called “Episcopal” ☺—the diocese is an important part of the identity of an Episcopal parish.
- Cite Everything ☺. You appear to have the sources; they're just not attached directly to the material they supplied.
- Minor points:
- Be careful of diction and word choices. Imprecise wording (for example, what's a branch of a church?) can go a long way to undermine your credibility.
- Significant points:
Phbrownacmorg (talk) 00:01, 29 November 2018 (UTC)
All three group members participated in the project and did equal amounts of work. Most of the work was done off of Wikipedia together and then uploaded by AKPosey001 because that is the sandbox we used.
- AKPosey001 at 09:28 6 December 2018.