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16:02, 13 September 2018 (UTC)

Welcome!

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Hello, Aciccia93, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:39, 14 September 2018 (UTC)Reply

Jdb337 Peer Edit Revisions to Aciccia93's Edits to A Wrinkle in Time Article: • Does the writer employ concise, plain language? Are any sentences awkward or lengthy? Are there any weasel words? What revisions or proofreading to individual sentences would you recommend? o Avoid the word “wrestles” since it is a cliché. o Try to paraphrase when possible to avoid quotes. o The sentence that starts with “The novel’s scientific and religious undertones…” should include a signal phrase, so the reader knows this is not your own research. o Add another signal phrase for the sentence “The novel is highly spiritualized…” o Confusing part of the sentence “Furthermore, throughout the children’s journey…” because the phrase “almost always” is thrown in there. o Opinion phrase/ “peacock” word: “…There remains doubt to whether the novel truly can be…” o Check grammar regarding commas. o Remove the phrase “In fact” • Does each sentence convey a factual claim? Is each sentence cited? One citation per statement is the minimum expectation. No original research should be included. o Most of the phrases are cited. o Add more signal phrases when the citations are not applied. o Seems like there is some original research when there are opinions thrown in. o I made note of where I thought another reader could see the phrase as “opinionated.” • Does each sentence attribute viewpoints to the people who hold them/the source? Does the writer need to add signal phrases? o See comments above regarding signal phrases. • If writer has composed an entire paragraph, does it flow logically? Is anything unclear to you? o The paragraphs do flow logically. o Helps to see how it fits into the article. • Do you need more information or clarifications to understand the drafted materials? o Some of the sentences could use some clarification since similar words are constantly used. o When possible explain more about what is trying to be said. • If the drafted materials is to be included in the lead-in section, review relevant Wikipedia guidelines. o Does provide more of a summary of the upcoming topics in the article. o Introduce information regarding religion and the controversy it proposes. o Make sure to remove quotes and try to paraphrase. Jdb337 (talk) 18:38, 27 November 2018 (UTC)Jdb337Reply