Amanda Mocsi Edit
editHello there! Your work is really interesting and I think ballet is severely under recognized in terms of its physical demands and art form. Just a couple quick things that I found might help you edit your project!
In the first sentence under the section “Positives and Negatives of Ballet Shoes” you use the word “detrimental” but I think you might mean instrumental or essential to convey the importance of the ballerina’s shoe to performance. The title “Positives and Negatives” has a typo with a double “s” in positives. Also under this section, you might want to address the negative aspects of ballet shoes a little more? Is it the shoes that are harmful to ballerinas feet or is it dancing en pointe? Is there any research that suggests better solutions to better protect a dancer’s feet from injury? Also, are there any societal commentaries on ballet shoes in relation to beauty standards etc.?
In the Dancing en pointe section I think you really do a great job explaining the physical demands placed on a dancer’s body to achieve such a difficult position in ballet. I don’t know if this is the direction you want to take this project, but perhaps you can think about the aesthetics of en pointe dancing and the societal implications of the ballerina? What types of bodies are privileged in ballet and how is en pointe a codification of female beauty standards? Further, how is agency negotiated to young dancers regarding their own physical health and injuries caused by ballet? Do parents play a mediator or a factor in the injury process?
In your edit you use in text citations, but I think the Wikipedia assignment calls for footnotes? I might be wrong, but you might want to check your citation formatting.
In a recent project I worked on regarding eating disorders and ballet I found these sources particularly helpful!
Banes, Sally. Dancing Women : Female Bodies on Stage . New York ;: Routledge, 1998. Print.
Oliver, Wendy. “Reading the Ballerina's Body: Susan Bordo Sheds Light on Anastasia Volochkova and Heidi Guenther.” Dance Research Journal, vol. 37, no. 2, 2005, pp. 38–54. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/20444640.