User talk:Aeivkovich/sandbox

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Phhutchi

Here are some suggestions that I have for your page: -The existing sections of informations and your information look good, but maybe try to add in other sections for a wider variety of information (ex. taxonomy, behavior, importance to humans, if there are laws to protect them) -add more citations and use more articles -combining the information from the Anatomy section on the existing article and the Physical Description section in your article. Zoezentner (talk) 20:48, 21 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

You definitely have a good start to your article. The sections currently in place are informative. I agree with Zoe that the anthropogenic interactions would be interesting to add, if you can find any information on the subject.

Overall, I like your writing style, but there are some sentences that seem cumbersome. For example, the first sentence in the “distribution” section is wordy. I would rewrite it as: “The flatback turtle exhibits the smallest range of the seven sea turtle species, lacking global distribution.” However, that’s personal preference, though I do suggest trying to make your sentences as succinct as possible.

I also noticed some grammatical errors (an extra word here or there, strange comma placement, etc.), so I would suggest that you perhaps read the article out loud to yourself (it’s much easier than trying to list them all here, unless you would like me to).

Finally, I recommend linking to other articles. That way, your readers can learn more about specific anatomical or other biological terms, as well as geography (e.g. carapace, Torres Strait). You're definitely off to a great start! Sespry13 (talk) 16:42, 28 March 2016 (UTC)Reply

I'm sort of late to the game but I agree with the others, looks like its set up well but you still need to add some info to a few places. There were a few sentences that seem like they could be condensed a bit to avoild repitition of some facts but they will be easily fixed. I still need to figure out how to link certain words to other articles myself, but I think that would help your article as well and provide some more background info if the reader is interested without cluttering up the page too much. Other than that, and you may already be planning this, but maybe add a picture or two, which it sounds like we will be doing in class today, along with a taxobox and information about its conservation status may be helpful. Phhutchi (talk) 17:52, 28 March 2016 (UTC)phhutchiReply