Alainas

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Editing Q

Hey, did you do the entire article or only certain sections?

Fmveblen (talk) 23:02, 22 April 2012 (UTC)

Peer Review University of Utah

I don’t have any subject edits for you, I liked your article – the first few sentences confused me about where you were going with it all, but then it turned into a really convincing and good paragraph!

Here are some spelling/grammar edits:

“See Also: Feminization of Agriculture” and “gender division of labor” (I think if it is in red, there is no page, so maybe delete the link?)

First sentence (and double check your other notes): the footnote link goes after the period

“For this reason, it has been argued that this dependence creates an deeply” → “a deeply”

“It has been projected that with the continuation of men” → “It has been projected that, with the”

“and according to her, ‘Hence, insofar…” → “and, according to her, ‘insofar as…”

Maybe make “Kenyan Land Takeover” a subsection? (=====Kenyan Land Takeover====)

“Shiva said, ‘The…” → “Shiva said, ‘the…”

Fmveblen (talk) 00:52, 25 April 2012 (UTC)

Peer Review Response

Thanks for your comments. I definitely need to proof read a little more and work on my sources. Sometimes things just slip past you after a while but I will go back and re-read and have others help with editing. Also, it is good to know when something is confusing. I will work on making that easier to understand. Thanks again for the advice! Alainas (talk) 03:39, 25 April 2012 (UTC)Alainas

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