Alexa cotton

Nice work!

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Posted automatically via sandbox guided tour. Alexa cotton (talk) 23:48, 13 January 2015 (UTC)

Welcome

Hello, Alexa cotton and welcome to Wikipedia! It appears you are participating in a class project. If you haven't done so already, we encourage you to go through our training for students.

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We hope you like it here and encourage you to stay even after your assignment is finished! 220 of ^Borg 06:19, 23 March 2015 (UTC)

Ways to improve History of Enslavement of Indigenous Peoples in California

Hi, I'm 220 of Borg. Alexa cotton, thanks for creating History of Enslavement of Indigenous Peoples in California!

I've just tagged the page, using our page curation tools, as having some issues to fix. The page could use footnotes and in-text links to other relevant Wikpedia pages

The tags can be removed by you or another editor once the issues they mention are addressed. If you have questions, you can leave a comment on my talk page. Or, for more editing help, talk to the volunteers at the Teahouse. 220 of ^Borg 06:22, 23 March 2015 (UTC)

I also added an {{Educational assignment}} template to the article talkpage. I presume I got the details correct, you may want to check it. 220 of ^Borg 06:27, 23 March 2015 (UTC)

On tone

Hi Alexa cotton, I am enjoying seeing your additions to History of Enslavement of Indigenous Peoples in California. One thing I might suggest is that the introduction of the article should be written in a more neutral and clear way. The content you've got has the bones of a clear summary, but it feels as though the tone needs some work. Normally an introduction section begins with the title in boldface (e.g. Conquest of California) in text. I made an attempt of this but the title makes it a bit awkward. Further, if the history is a mix of indentured servitude, government or private plunder of wealth and labor, and monopsony labor markets and not chattel slavery, the word "enslavement" may be inappropriate.

I've made a few edits to the article, but I think there is still some work to be done. Thanks for your contributions so far. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:14, 25 March 2015 (UTC)