Alli.Cucalon
Welcome!
editHello, Alli.Cucalon, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:09, 1 June 2016 (UTC)
Feedback request
editHi Alli.Cucalon. I got your message. How can I help you? Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:53, 15 June 2016 (UTC)
Hi Ian, our professor just wanted us to get some feedback on the article that I have in my sandbox, so check if we were headed in the right direction/if you have any suggestions. Thanks Alli.Cucalon (talk) 21:13, 17 June 2016 (UTC)
Mouse models
edit@Alli.Cucalon and Mary.duffy726: Nice work on your article draft. It looks good, but there are a few things that still could use some work. For starters, the lead section should be less of an introduction and more of a summary of the entire article. I split your initial paragraph, spinning off the background/history (you can change the name I used to whatever seems best in your mind). Now all you need to do is develop the first part into a summary of the main points of the article. You should also add a supporting source for the last sentence in the "background" section.
The "findings" section also doesn't belong here. Wikipedia articles don't include "conclusions"-type sections. However, the information in there should be addd to the lead (but it should be written in sentence/paragraph form).
Overall, nice work. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:42, 21 June 2016 (UTC)