User talk:Anietoro/sandbox

A MIller comments: I agree with the reviewer comments below. This is a great contribution but could be made easier to read with paragraph headings. Also please follow wikipedia instructions for citations (one of the reviewers detailed it below. Great work! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amille75 (talk • contribs) 03:50, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

Srcheng (talk) 01:31, 1 December 2015 (UTC)

General: The information you’ve gathered is interesting and looks useful for cultivating Crotalaria juncea. Everything you wrote flowed well, but with so much information, you might consider dividing your contribution into separate paragraphs or sections. You might divide it by: “phytoremediation”, “copper” and “phosphate: Rhizophagus clarus and AMF” since those are the main focuses of your piece. You did very thorough research, and I don't have any questions regarding your material.

Grammar: Looks good overall! There’s a few spots where some minor editing would improve the clarity of your contribution.

• “Identified as effective” and “identified as applicable and successful” are a little awkwardly phrased. Perhaps you could say “shown to be effective as a…” or “demonstrated to be effective as…” instead?
• Elements/chemicals, like copper and phosphate, do not need to be capitalized.
• “Toxicity resulting from excessive Copper has also resulted in altered effects that have been found to affect the cellular and molecular levels of the plant.” These two parts of your sentence are redundant. Perhaps you could cut one part out or combine them?
• Need a comma before “however” in your 13th sentence.
• “Rhizophagus clarus” should be italicized.
• “Demonstrated effectiveness” is awkward phrasing. Maybe instead write, “Phosphate has been demonstrated to be effective in reducing…”

Sources: All five sources are there, but you don’t need to cite them in-text like you have.

a. General comments: i. What is the main take home message of this article?

    1.	That Crotalaria juncea is a good crop for phytoremediation and improving soil quality. This could be helpful in making other crops better. But excess copper and phosphate may have negative effects on the plant.

ii. What do you like about this Wikipedia contribution? What do you dislike?

    1.	I thought it was good and flowed well. I liked how it talked about how Crotalaria juncea might not be a great crop candidate but it could help other crops.
    2.	I think the writing needs to be broken up into paragraphs it is difficult to follow in that sense

iii. Is there anything written that doesn’t make sense?

    1.	The third sentence  

iv. What questions do you have as you are reading the text? Be specific.

    1.	Does Crotalaria juncea have good crop qualities?

b. Grammar i. Do you see any spelling errors? Are there any periods or commas that are missing or out-of-place?

    1.	“Copper” is capitalized throughout and I don’t believe it should be
    2.	“Phosphate” is capitalized throughout and I don’t believe it should be

ii. Are all scientific names written correctly, italicized with the genus name capitalized and the specific epithet starting with a lower case?

    1.	Crotalaria juncea is correctly done each time but Rhizophagus clarus also looks like a species and should follow the same format

c. References i. Are there five distinct references?

    1.	Yes

ii. Are each of the references from a scientific journal?

    1.	Yes

iii. Are the references cited correctly?

    1.	Yes but I don’t think you need in text citations

Srowse16 (talk) 02:52, 24 November 2015 (UTC)

I really enjoyed reading your article, and I think that you did a great job. I have listed below some of the comments that I have.

• General Comments
• I really enjoyed reading your article. I thought the process of phytoremediation was very interesting,and it was also really interesting how some copper is useful for helping Crotaleria juncea but too much can lead to harmful effects.
• A suggestion I have is to break your one paragraph into four separate paragraphs. You could have one paragraph talking about phytoremediation, one paragraph talking about the effects of Copper on Crotalaria juncea, one paragraph discussing phosphate and Rhizophagus clarus, and the final paragraph could discuss Arbuscular mycorrhizal fungi. Another suggestion that I have is to include headers above each of your sections.
• Your article was very well written and I did not find anything that did not make sense.
• The only question I have is regarding your last in text citation. It appeared that the sentence before it came from three different sources.
• Grammar
• Overall, your grammar was really good. The only suggestions I have are in the fourth sentence, I would put a comma after stabilize. In the sentence that begins with “However, an excess of Copper…” I would get rid of the comma in front of including. The sentence that begins with “There are however…” I would consider putting commas around however and omitting the comma in front of which. In the sentence that begins with “Phosphate has demonstrated…” I would get rid of the comma in front of resulting.
• You did a great job writing your scientific names correctly. The only recommendation I have is to italicize Rhizophagus clarus.
• References
• There were at least five references
• All appeared to come from a scientific journal
• Your references were great! My only suggestions are for references in Wikipedia, in your sandbox below your article entry, you can create a spot that says ==Notes== and then below this write reflist enclosed in brackets. This will create a reference list for you with numbers for in text citations. In your sandbox, when you are creating in text citations, use the format . Also, I was looking over the example citation that Dr. Miller sent us and I believe for this format you do not need to put the name of the article in quotations, and I think that the year should go after the authors’ names.