User talk:AnimalBehaviorStudent/Dog aggression

Additional Information

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 4 September 2019 and 27 November 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Assigned student editor(s): AnimalBehaviorStudent.

The article needs to be more focused on what causes this aggression and how to prevent or treat it. The lead/introduction paragraph is not detailed enough and the language used is slightly informal.

Avajar20 Peer Review Dog Aggression

This article is coming along very nicely! The first paragraph is clear and concise, though I think that it could be flushed out a bit more, depending on how much information or research is available. Everything here is cited well and all references and links look good. Great job of using scientific articles to support your statements.

It is interesting to have a new section including the types of aggressiveness in dogs, though these too could probably have more information added. Some examples may be helpful here as well.

I don't know your plan with the "causes" section between the sandbox and the actual article but there seems to be a lot of information here, which is great, but I would recommend maybe creating secondary headings to make it better organized and easier to read.

The tone is this article seems very neutral and scientific, great job!

Reference 2 seems to be missing a date, which is available on the research article.

Peer Review 2:

The lead is concise and not overly detailed but doesnt mention the types of dog aggression or that there can be treatments for it. As a suggestion for the writing of the lead, in the second sentence it says "Aggression expressed by dogs is considered to be normal behaviour and their behaviour is..." saying behaviour twice so close to each other feel redundant so maybe you could switch it to "Aggression expressed by dogs is considered to be normal behaviour which is...".

The content added is relevant and is up to date.

This article has potential to be non-neutral because of the worlds bias towards certain dogs but you did a good job at remaining neutral. I understand that you were going to add more images, but one suggestion I will make on that is to show images of more different types of dogs displaying aggression as the German Sheppard pictured is a commonly known dog to be aggressive when it can be in almost all dogs so it would be more neutral to show a range of dogs than just one well known dog. Another suggestion is regarding the sentence "Therefore, it is important to recognize that aggressive dogs display aggressive behaviour as a result of fear or an anxiety disorder" this sentence makes it seem like this is the single cause of dog aggression, therefore is non-biased. I would recommend changing this to illustrate that it's just one of the causes.

The whole article is well and thoroughly cited, where the references have a wide range up to publications from 2018 and the links for the references work.

The content is well organized. The topics flow but there are some grammatical errors that make the sentences hard to understand. I will reference a few with my suggestions:

In the dominance aggression section it might be helpful to define what "spoiling" a dog means.

Under defensive aggression it's written "the dogs" which may be better as something like "The dogs who are prone to displaying aggressive behaviour" because it's not all dogs.

In the beginning of the causes section it says "Many dogs that suffer from anxiety disorder and cannot determine the difference between a legitimate threat and a false threat" this would be more cohesive as "Many dogs that suffer from anxiety disorders cannot determine the difference between a legitimate threat and a false threat"

It might be a good idea to define gonadectomy in the research section to help readers better understand.

The images are great to add to the article, are not distracting and follow the copyright regulations. I like the image of the dog brain but I think the caption does not explain it well, maybe mention the examples in your paragraph, showing where on the diagram an injury could occur that would affect behaviour or better specifying that it could be mental illnesses. The caption on the image of the dog in the laboratory is somewhat confusing also because it is not likely that an owner would go to a lab to manage the behaviour of the dog so I don't think that this is what the image is actually of. I'm looking forward to seeing what other images you add!

Overall the article is well written and detailed in describing causes, influences and suggestions on dealing with dog aggression. My main suggestions are fixing minor grammatical errors, editing the slightly biased sentences and altering picture captions. Overall good job! Amhwarren (talk) 15:14, 2 November 2019 (UTC)