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16:03, 13 September 2018 (UTC)

Welcome!

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Hello, Apolizzotto4, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:39, 14 September 2018 (UTC)Reply


Notes

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Hi! I wanted to leave you some notes along with the email, since it's easier to kind of detail things on Wikipedia than it is via email.

  • My first note is about the director's section. This was a little too favorably written towards DuVernay, so it needs some tweaking. I'd also include it under the production section as opposed to its own section, especially as this is already covered there. This could probably be summarized a bit and added there. Here's how I'd summarize it (I'm using the last few sentences from the production paragraph to help give context.):
On February 8, 2016, it was reported that Ava DuVernay had been offered the job of directing the film, and she was confirmed to direct later that same month. She became the first woman of color to direct a live-action film with a production budget over $100 million. The choice was met with praise in the media industry. Oprah Winfrey, one of the stars in the film, commented that both DuVernay and the film's cast broke barriers for individuals of color in the film industry.[1] After the film's release DuVernay garnered additional praise from some critics and movie viewers.
This puts it more to the point - all of the listing of praise can kind of come across a little promotional if you're not careful. We need to be careful about praise received after the film's release since it received mixed reviews overall - we just have to be careful of phrasing.
  • With the reception section, it looks like you removed a lot of content that was already there. This is typically frowned upon, as you should only remove content if there's something wrong with it, such as it being biased or out of date. Also, there shouldn't be a huge emphasis on online reception unless there was a lot of coverage about the film's reception online. The reason for this is that it's generally expected that a mainstream film will be talked about online following their release date and that journalists will put some mention of their reviews online as well, since that's where the readers are.
Another note with the reception section is that you shouldn't list a person's Twitter handle - their real name will suffice here, especially as including the handle can make it seem like we're telling people to go check them out off Wikipedia.
I think that you can re-add the reception section after editing it to be more in-line with what is already in the article and with sections like the reception section for the first Harry Potter film. I wouldn't remove the prior reception information, though - especially not the information about the Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic, and theater grade scores, as those are considered to be pretty standard for most film articles.

Let me know if you need any help! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:52, 6 December 2018 (UTC)Reply

  1. ^ "A black girl's take on 'A Wrinkle in Time': Equal opportunity to be America's darling | Cambridge Day". www.cambridgeday.com. Retrieved 2018-11-20.