User talk:April ahmed/sandbox
Great formatting and length
Ample amount of sources
Last sentence under “Legal Discrimination”: This comes as a result of binarism, the erroneous belief that only men and women, and no other gender identities, are valid. Is this an opinion or a fact? If it is an opinion, maybe try and reword it. If it is a fact, possibly state where the fact came from just for clarification.
Last sentence in first paragraph under “Health Discrimination”: 14% reported discrimination in medical care, but were "more likely to avoid care altogether when sick or injured because of the fear of discrimination." [7] Cited correctly. However, since you put quotes, maybe say “according to…” before you begin the quote.
I like how you included examples of studies and surveys.
Alexisdupuy (talk) 14:33, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
I put all of my edits on a word document that I emailed to Liam.
HealyMarroy (talk) 14:43, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
April_ahmed Overall, really good just make sure if something is an opinion or may come off as one, you give credit to whoever said it so it doesn't generalize the opinion to that specific group. The statistics from the surveys are a great addition, make sure to state which type of study in the first paragraph of "Health Discrimination". I emailed my comments in a word document to Liam. Megancrowder (talk) 14:53, 27 October 2015 (UTC)