Attackoftheshow
- VIEW IDEAS 1 through 20
- VIEW IDEAS 21 through 30
- VIEW Script Archive 3
- Options 52 + are below.
Jimbo says "No, really, it's okay"
editI will be appearing on their television program tomorrow and they want to do a demo of Wiki technology. They asked if they could do this in their article and of course that wouldn't be good, so I said they could do it in their user page, which they created specifically for this.
Wikipedia is great, of course, because the page was blanked and locked almost immediately, as a possible hoax or commercial promotion of some kind, but actually it's fine. Thanks Tony, for being so vigilant. :-) --Jimbo Wales 22:38, 15 August 2005 (UTC)
- No problem. Have fun! --Tony SidawayTalk 22:44, 15 August 2005 (UTC)
Quite an experiment, fellas
editIt's nice to see for once that television shows start to pay attention to those who matter most to the program's longevity itself- the key demographics, and more importantly, the viewers within said demo. The television network "Current" (founded by Al Gore, no less) promises to make good on a similar premise. We'll see how that lasts.
So, turning over ideas for your show seems very nice, and Wikipedia so much nicer of a slate than, say, a message board laden with heaps of flash banners instructing me to win a free Xbox 360. My only kermudgen of sorts is that you should allow the different pitches for the 30-second skit to cascade down the page instead of simply deleting what was once there (much like my dreams, dashed on the rocks of...well, I won't go there).
So, keep up the good work, guys!
P.S. --- ATi needs to release the R520 asap. yes, it's that important.
Voting for the Top 3
editJudging by the user contributions of the anonymous user who first put the Top 3 section in the article in this edit, the way he or she worded the introduction, and that the anonymous user has an edit history prior to this event, I am guessing that this user is not working for Attack of the Show. We do not have a consensus on what options we should build from because we have not held a "vote." Therefore, I think it'd be best if people listed which three they would like us to build from in this section. Toothpaste 22:07, 16 August 2005 (UTC)
Tuesday Show Idea
editNot a script, just a general idea: Pay more attention to the forums. Your most dedicated fanbase is there, and everyone would appreciate it if you spent some time on the forums pitching in with your opinions on certain discussions we have. A ton of people would also love it if you spent more time (maybe seven minutes?) on Chat questions.
This whole Wikipedia show scheduling idea is pretty damn cool, and definitely a television first. Keep up the good work. -Babylonian
'Hipster Alone'
editMusic: We hear mock-up score similar to the theme in the movie 'Home Alone' - we just change a few notes here and there
Kevin plays himself (Note that McCaulay's character in 'Home Alone' was Kevin anyway, which adds extra underlying humor to it)
Kevin is sitting in a room type setting sipping on a mocha-frappa-whatever drink (it would be funny if the side of the cup said that as well) as purchased from his local hip-corporate coffee chain. Instead of wild and crazy things happening, he just sits there drinking his coffee.
Camera gets a side angle view of him sitting at the computer desk table, with a Window in the background (it would be nice if it looked as if it were night-time with a fake full moon in the sky)
(dramatic movie voice) announcer:
THIS SUMMER
cut to a shot of Kevin typing on the keys from different dramatic angles
announcer:
YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN KEVIN FINDS HIMSELF LEFT..
cut to a shot of him sipping the coffee up close, casually (to hear a slurp sound effect would be nice too)
Camera pans back to get a better shot of the window.
Cue Jeff knocking on the outside window behind kevin, wearing a beanie cap and a sweatshirt with another shirt underneath, also a jacket -ala Joe Pesci with an overly pesci-mean look on his face (he should be kneeling slightly since Pesci is short IRL)
Brendan is standing next to him with a fake goatee and a crowbar, wearing a plaid paul-bunyon-esque red shirt ala Daniel Stern (raises crowbar in the air and shakes it)
Kevin rolls the chair around to face the camera
Camera zooms quickly in on his face
Kevin puts his hands on his face ala the classic Home Alone face. Maybe we can have him take a really quick sip of the coffee right before he puts his hands on his face (before the camera zoom) for comedic effect.
announcer:
HIPSTER ALONE
(use chyron to add the text of this to the screen - if possible, add a small picture of the sillouette of a house in between the HIPSTER and ALONE to simulate the actual movie poster) End segment
Authors Note:
I seriously have a million hilarious skits in my head, man. This was just a quickie. You should hear the one for 'Hipster Alone 2: Emo/Lost In General'
by Gary Otto webmaster@ultra-electro.com
Drunk vader skit
editNO REALLY IM STUPID, SHOOT ME Drunk vader is sitting at the bar
Drunk vader: Give me another beer.... Bartender: here you go (passes beer) Drunk vader: Give me another beer.... Bartender: here you go (passes beer) Drunk vader: Give me another beer.... Bartender: I'm not allowed to give tou anymore , according to my boss, you had enough!
Drunk vader force chokes man , and runs into bosses room , and tries to force choke her Turns out to be Sara , who use the force lightning Drunk vader falls to the ground dead
Sara: and stay down you n00b
Sara thinking : Now I have to lower the limit again! God!
END
The One Script - 30 SECOND TARGET ACHIEVED - That's right: guaranteed at 30 seconds.
editINT. ATTACK OF THE SHOW CUBICLE FARM - DAY
INTERN AT DESK,"WIKIPEDIA" (R) (TM) (C) ON MONITOR
BRENDAN approaches SARAH.
[00:00:00]
BRENDAN
Hey, do you have that User Created done?
SARAH
Oh, yeah... um... almost.
KEVIN
We need it for the show! What have you been doing for the last six hours?
SARAH
(excited) Look! (pointing) Wikipedia! It's all interlinked,
and I noticed some articles needed updating....
[00:00:15 to 00:00:19]
KEVIN
Sarah, you've already got your own website.
Why don't you just update that?
SARAH
But... But... Wikipedia is COLLABORATIVE! It's a NOBLE EXPERIMENT!
[00:00:26]
BRENDAN
Yeah. Just like the Internet.
[00:00:30]
ROLL SHOW CREDITS
Script by Lyberty
Office Jesus's Letter of Resignation
edit- Office Jesus Typing on comp.*
- Naration starts(it's office Jesus)*
"Dear, Attack of the Show, I regret to inform you that due to resent Religious obligations, I will no longer be with you. You see, a hord of mothers that belong to PETA, RIAA, and THMA (The Hypocritical Mothers Association) All think that I'm making fun of myself, The only reason they saw me on here is because of A showing At EB games While they Bought San Andreas for their kids. Along with other games such as, Playboy the mansion, Singles, and The Sims2. I leave my position to my best freind Drunk Vader, and my office to The two ghosts gowing at it. But before I say ado, I must ask one thing. KEVIN WHERE THE HELL IS MY 50 BUCKS!!!!!????? Well that's all Kisses Sarah, Kisses Tv's Brendan Moran, Kisses Steve, Midle Finger Kevin. Goodbye.
Signed Office Jesus."
- Kevin walks by, with coffie*
Kevin-"Hey Office Jesus"
- Kevin trips and spills coffie on OJ's Comp.*
Kev-"Ooops sorry." OJ-"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
- Half way through the 'no' Drunk Vader Joins in.*
DV-"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
END!!!
LINK MAKES GUEST APPEARANCE, HOOKS UP WITH PRINCESS PEACH
editCHARACTERS - Link, Princess Peach from Mario
BASIC SCRIPT -
(LINK sits bored on Attack of Show set with booze in hand)
LINK - All these scripts and they chose the one where I'm sitting here doing nothing. Maaan. I am so bored.
(Sultry music starts as PRINCESS PEACH in pink dress saunters into frame, LINK looks up)
PRINCESS PEACH - Hey sexy...
LINK (wide-eyed, interested, a little slurred) - Hey, I remember you. Aren't you...
PRINCESS PEACH - Mario's not doin' it for me baby. How bout you and ME smash around some more?
(LINK gets big grin on face. Immediately flash to next cutscene. LINK holds empty liquor bottle while he is laying in PRINCESS PEACH's lap, sobbing in his usual drunken sobfest. PRINCESS PEACH is rolling her eyes, bored and a little annoyed.)
LINK - ZELDAAAAAAAA! WAA-A-A Zeldaaaaaaa...
(A strange change to this script would be PRINCESS PEACH laying in LINK's lap with empty booze bottle, moaning about MARIO, instead of the other way around.)
{NB - I know it's short and simple but that's the point. It can be ad-libbed and elaborated on at will
[X-play Announcer]"Now please let me announce Adam Sessler and Morgan Web." Morgan-"Welcome to today's show, we review..."
- Suddenly the Attack of the Show hosts bust in through the door*
Adam-"What the hell do you want?" Sarah-"We are here to kick ass! Oh, and get our show back"
- AOTS hosts start destroying the set*
- AOTS leave out the door and attack the producer*
- Suddenly Kevin Rose comes in and Home-Rowed the hosts*
Producer-"Nice work my apprentice"
- The Producer hands Kevin Rose a wad of cash*
Anonymous Comment. Time to pick a script? Comments go on the comments page.
editYO LYBERTY, COULD YOU STOP FORCING YOUR SCRIPT ON US, THERE'S A TON OF OTHER ONES, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST YOURS LIKE IT IS THE ONLY SCRIPT. YOUR SCRIPT IS BAD AND THE MODS KEEP REVERTING THE CHANGES BACK OR YOU KEEP EDITING IT AS YOU WROTE IT WHICH RUINS THE POINT
YOU'VE POSTED YOUR SCRIPT A TOTAL OF 4 TIMES ALREADY ON THE LIST AND NOW HERE GIVE IT A REST -By anonymous
- To Anonymous : fair enough; if you have a suggestion of a better script that should appear on the main page, please post it there(instead of your comments). But I think we must now start the selection process. Please pick one that will fit in 30 seconds. Lyberty 14:30, 16 August 2005 (UTC)
"Odd Man Out"
editAotS's CUBICLE FARM:
Kevin is sitting at his desk rocking out on his headphones while ostensibly doing some work on the computer. He sees something that he gets excited about.
Kevin: Hey! check out this thing I found on the interweb!
BRENDAN, SARAH, and GUEST HOST are standing in an adjacent cubicle chatting about going out for lunch.
Brendan: Ooo we should go to that new Bar and Grille they just opened up.
Sarah: Brendan, I'm getting tired of watching you drink your lunch. We're gonna eat actual food today.
Brendan: *looks crestfallen*
Guest Host: What about the Tai restaraunt next to the Bar and Grille?
Sarah: Good thinking! I'll drive.
They head past Kevin's desk without even looking at him. Kevin tries in vain to get their attention. Brendan is the last to leave the scene.
Kevin: Ummm guys? Uh I like Tai food... Brendan? Sarah? ...
Brendan: So this Tai place is right next to the bar and grille you say?
Sarah (Off Screen): Dude, you need help.
Brendan: (Off Screen) *choking back tears* I know.
KEVIN's CUBICLE: *using high pitched mocking voice* Want some Tai food? Sure why not as long as Kevin's not invited. *drops voice* Fine I don't need to go to lunch with those stupid .... people.
Kevin pulls out a juice box and starts sipping defiantly. He then goes on his computer and pulls up a child like drawing of a place which is a cross between Homer's dreamland of candy on the Simpsons and perhaps Willy Wonka, and a touch of Woodstock thrown in for good measure. There is a a big banner that says "KEVIN LAND: HOME OF THE PEREIRA-RAMA ROLLERCOASTER" He looks dreamily at the image as he suckles his juice box and pines for his fantasy play land.
Sarah: *Off Screen* Hey Kevin!
Kevin: *mad* What, Sarah?
Sarah: We almost forgot...
Kevin: *starts to look happy and expectant* Yes Sarah?
Sarah: There are meters outside the restaraunt and I don't have any change. You have some.
Kevin moodily changes her dollar.
Sarah: Thanks!
She runs off. The sketch ends like Happy Tree friends with the circle that closes around a sad faced Kevin.
Office Jesus and the Unsaved Document
edit-Kevin is typing frantically at his cubicle. He finishes typing, and is relieved.-
Kevin: Yes, finally! I finished writing the greatest skit ever!
-Kevin looks down at his pants, and realizes he really need to go to the restroom. A look of distress on his face, and him cupping himself, he looks back in forth between his computer and the restroom across the hall. He finally gets up and runs to the restroom. Once he leaves, Office Jesus walks by Kevin's cubicle, and sees the cubicle is empty. He looks around, then sits down at Kevin's cubicle. He exits the document, and does not save.-
-Time transition to 2 minutes later-
-Kevin steps out of the restroom and sighs with relief. He walks back to his cubicle and sees Office Jesus in a chatroom. He freaks-
Kevin: Office Jesus! Where's my skit?!?!
Office Jesus: (smiling) Oh, that was yours? Too bad I didn't save it...
-Kevin goes ballistic and runs away crying. Office Jesus pays no attention, and he can be heard double clicking a link. Office Jesus then smiles as raunchy, sexy music comes on, obviously representing porn.-
THE END.
There, hope you enjoyed it!
Adam Crawford
Hmph!
editHow dare you delete my suggestions!
-Kevin is walking in a happy-go-lucky way, just like Adam Sessler on X-Play, whistling music and everything.
-He gets his ass handed to him by Sarah Lane. She spits on him.
-Tag line: "Watch Attack of the Show, or you'll be sorry."
And, scene!
Our venerable hosts should get arrested...with Arrested Development! Your mother.
Ooh, and I'm sure that they would like to teach us all how to do some lightsabers:
http://theforce.net/fanfilms/postproduction/sabres/photoshopsabertutorial.mov
Here's one with me and my crew:
http://img44.echo.cx/my.php?image=uslightsabers2op.jpg
((adding "beer wars" by unknown author ; see main page history))
editDrunk vader (drinks his fourth out of fith beer)
kevin (loudly)youve drank enough.
both actavate there light sapers.
Drunk vader knocks kevins light saper out of his hand.
sarah (spirt) use the beeeeeeeeeeeeerr.
kevin sits up, grabs the last beer with the force,and drinks the beer.
Drunk vador NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
office jesus
edit(kevin in his cubicle and office jesus walks up) kevin:hey office jesus wazzup! jesus:oh nothing much except the shows in 30 seconds and the creator from wikipedias here kevin: whaaaaaaaaaa? we havent even prepared i still have to find worthless crap on ebay! (jesus goes to kevins computer and types in ebay and all of the weird auctions magically pop up glowing with light from the heavens) kevin: wow thanks office jesus now i can get around to growing my goatee
Third Teir Character Revolution
edit(Open on a shadowy room with a round table. Various figures are sitting, some can be made out, some are hidden by the dark. One man steps up, it's Office Jesus)
OJ: My friends, it is evident that we all here are sorly under-used by the shows on G4, wheather we be recurring characters on AotS, XPlay, or whatever, we need to realize that we are the majority now. The writers have created too many of us. I propose that we instigate a grand riot against Kevin Pereira and his bigotry against thrid teir characters.
(Drunk Vader is shown at the other end of the table)
DV: Yea, let's bum rush the stage. Naked!
Johnny Extreme: YEAH!!!! NAKED RUNING IS EXTREME!!! TO THE MAX!!!
Ratty: Let's tell thoses bitches(don't know if you can say bitches on air, if not you could change it) to suck it.
A giant Megaphone: Yea im sick and tired of only being know cause Perira sucks at hearing.
OJ: so it is agreed, the thrid teir characters of G4 will unite to take control of this network once and for all.
(Office Jesus puts his hand out in the middle of the circle.)
DV: agreed (DV puts his hand in)
JX: AGREED!!! TO THE MAX!! (JX puts his hand in)
Ratty: lets do it (lays on the hands cause hes a small puppet)
AGM: Lets meagphone this!
(Suddenly one last person walks into the camera to join with the third teir characters of G4 and put his hand in.)
Brendan Moran: One for all, all for one. The third teir characters of G4 ......
(They all throw there hands up.)
all: UNITE!!!!!
(They run out the door, straight into G4 Security who apprehends them.)
Security gaurd: All right, how did you guys get out of your cages? Brendan get back to work
Brendan: Yes sir. (puts on a shirt that says Sarah's maid and a french maid hat)
SG: Now then, back to your cages
(gaurds drag the characters off screen.)
(end sceen)
- written by Ryan Reid of Medford, OR.
intervention
editBrenden and Kevin:
sarah, we need to have a talk...
sarah:
really? what about?
Brenden:.
we need to have an intervention.
sarah:
look if this is about the whole margarita friday incedent, ive gotten a good lawyer and entered a nice clinic with helpful people and......
Brenden:
what? no no its not that its just.......how can i put this......
Kevin (bluntly):
your gems of the internet suck.
Sarah:
WHAT!?!?!? what are u talking about the gems are good and helpful and interesting and.....
Kevin (interupting):
Polor claws.
Sarah:
excuse me?
Kevin:
u did an article about claws for if u fall into the ice.
Sarah:
ok not the best but come on, there are plenty of other great one-
Brenden:
Chicken suits.
Sarah:
about that its a funny story so i was gambling and this gypsy-
Kevin:
shoe lacing methods.
sarah:
i like it.
Brenden:
things in rubber.
sarah:
yes well.....you see........its...... *sob* i need help! (cries into hands)
kevin:
shhhh its ok we can get u help...
Sarah:
thanks guys, i love you all. if there is anything i can do for you.
Brenden and Kevin:
well, now that u mention it, your damb good download has been slipping.
(all laugh)
Brenden:
im not kidding.
(fades out)
SARAH: hey Kevin
KEVIN: yeah
SARAH: I was looking at one of the skits and I thought wow this is really bad.
KEVIN: how bad is it Sarah
SARAH: its as bad as your income.
KEVIN: oh that bad.
SARAH: yep
KEVIN: well good it wasnt on our show
SARAH: tell me about it, oh wait that was the skit
(Kevin and Sarah laugh)
KEVIN: wow that was pretty bad
SARAH: hey Kevin
KEVIN: yeah
SARAH: I was looking at one of the skits and I thought wow this is really bad.
KEVIN: how bad is it Sarah
SARAH: its as bad as your income.
KEVIN: oh that bad.
SARAH: yep
KEVIN: well good it wasnt on our show
SARAH: tell me about it, oh wait that was the skit
(Kevin and Sarah laugh)
KEVIN: wow that was pretty bad
SARAH: hey Kevin
KEVIN: yeah
SARAH: I was looking at one of the skits and I thought wow this is really bad.
KEVIN: how bad is it Sarah
SARAH: its as bad as your income.
KEVIN: oh that bad.
SARAH: yep
KEVIN: well good it wasnt on our show
SARAH: tell me about it, oh wait that was the skit
(Kevin and Sarah laugh)
KEVIN: wow that was pretty bad
C'mon Guys
editLets get serious here, this is a show on Television and AOTS is trying to see if they have INTELLIGENT viewers (A.K.A. Boys and Girls who can keep their minds of their "Joysticks" and "G-Spots" for more than 3 seconds) and allow these viewers to help create a great episode of the show.
Now, understand, I'm no fun nazi, I just want this thing to kick some arse (Perhaps be a 20 on a previous users Ass-Kickery scale? Somewhere up there with... I don't know... someone who devotes their life to kicking big arse!)
So let's at least TRY to follow some ground rules...
Perhaps we could put these on the front page so that future
Idea makers can... work with them to create a semi-sane
yet still completely wierd episode of AOTS. However, these
are just my thoughts, no one elses. (Hey! Originality! Wow!)
THE "Guidelines" FOR AOTS WIKIPEDIA PROJECT TV
edit- Come up with something original for Skits and the 6!
- No Vader or Homerowed, something similarly recognizeable but c'mon, thats THEIR joke, not yours.
- Obey the 30 second rule!
- It's just like the 5 second floor-food rule don't pass 30 Seconds or YOU DIE.
- Lets try and read all the previous skits before posting our own, maybe an Idea has already been presented that is similar to yours, if you have an addition.. post it in their idea with your name attatched!
- Vulgar, Sexist, Racist, Ignorant Comments = Bad Times!
- Lets be smart here folks, the producers of AOTS are not going to put anything on their show that could cause the show to look bad (which, is a fine line they walk anyway)
- As much as I'm sure Sarah appreciates a thousand noobs accross America praising her like a trophy, it's been done. We know you think Sarah is hot, get over yourself and go back to your WoW game. Your Level 38 Orc just got a Steel Spike Tipped Club!
- Changes should be made in the CORRECT Areas!
- Don't screw with the template of the site just cause you think it's funny. AOTS and Wikipedia are collaberating just like we are to make this work, so don't make it harder for them by deleting sections of the page just so you can type out "BRING BACK TechTV!" here's a news flash folks: Stations change, and there isn't much you can do to change that.
- Dont' DELETE other peoples ideas and don't be rude when critiquing them. Someone else may have put alot of time into what they thought would be a good skit for AOTS opening so respect that, and we will not flame you to death.
- If AOTS or Wikipedia delete something... DONT PUT IT BACK!
- The powers that be on this site have rules, and when you break them or when you screw with something to much, they will remedy the situation. Understand that it's probably nothing personal, they just don't need a website that talks about Kevin giving sexual favors in the opening skit. It's not what wikipedia is about and it's CERTAINLY not what Kevin and AOTS are about.
- Be your own Policeman!
- Odd as it sounds, you have a concience and common sense! Use them! If it sounds like they wouldn't use your idea or you think they might delete what ever you put up right away... DONT PUT IT UP!
- As you are coming up with ideas, check the site. See something obscene or something that 100% doesn't belong on a site that a 13 year old MIGHT see? DELETE IT!
- The AOTS and Wikipedia folks can't always be here to clean up after us, so help them by keeping this place as PG as possible. I know AOTS sometimes has sexual references, but thats called DISCRETE INNUENDOS. If you don't have the art of innuendo, don't post the idea, because they wont use it.
- When Posting a Skit, THINK FIRST!
- I may have stated this before but it's important. the three things to do when posting an idea are:
- Check to see if your idea or a similar one is already up.
- If one is found (or one you like better) expand/post on it, not a new entry.
- If none is found, post your new entry while following the guidelines.
- I promise you, this wont take you more than 5 minutes to do if done right.
- When Posting a Top 6, THINK FIRST!
- Just like with skits, you must do three things when posting a new idea:
- Look at the current top 6, if you see one that is less cool than yours, switch it out. (moving the one switched to Honorable Mentions)
- If you see that the top 6 are out of order, switch them around.
- If your idea is not yet on the list, post it at the bottom, moving the one you bumped to honorable mentions.
____________
I really think we can make this work if we try. Just... Show some Common Sense and Have fun with it... You can do both at the same time... I promise!
Yours Sincerely, -- Ally Kat (Living_In_Intelectual_Stupidity@hotmail.com
Brendan's Secret
editC.U. of a computer screen. There is an e-mail on the screen.
Kevin (V.O)
Dear Kevin,
You did such a great job hosting Attack of the Show tonight! You looked super sexy in your cute little jinx shirt. You know who I also like? Brendan Moran. He's hot too. You guys should be the only two hosts. Two hotties hosting a hot, hot, hot show. Mmmm Hmmm. Who needs Sarah Lane, right? She only comes between the amazing chemistry you two have. It's almost too hot to handle! You're a sexy, sexy boy K.P!
Love, Brenda
C.U of Kevin smiling to himself with great satisfaction.
Scan across the office to Brendan at HIS desk, watching Kevin from across the room.
Brendan (V.O)
Yes Kevin. You're a sexy, sexy boy!
Attack of The Prancer
edit“The Prancer Massacre – Attack of the Prancer; The Greatest Living Predator Ever”
Characters · “The Prancer”: Kevin Pereira · Victim 1 – Employee going to the Copy Machine · Victim 2 – Victim On Ground · Victim 3 – Victim on Ground · Victim 4 – Victim On Ground · Victim 5 – Victim on Ground · Victim 6 – Victim being Pranced
This skit is a play on what Seanbaby (When he was on the show the week before last) said about how Kevin Pereira prances around all the time. This focuses on a mysterious person going around the studio and “prancing” on innocent employees. “The Prancer” is wearing a Homestar Runner mask, and a frilly pink dress so no one actually knows who it is. At the end Kevin takes off the mask and laughs maniacally.
Script
(A long hallway – camera faces down the hallway)
An employee walks toward the camera, going to a computer which has mysteriously turned on and started playing obnoxious music. While walking “the Prancer” sneaks up behind them and taps him on the shoulder. The employee turns around. “The Prancer” emits a kitten-like meow that causes the employee to screech and run away. The employee trips and falls over a katsume mouspad (the one with her bosom from a few weeks ago) and “The Prancer” comes and prances all over him.
The Prancer: Ha Ha! You just got pranced on you n00b! I am sooo l33t. Meow.
The Prancer then prances off.
(Switches to another area – Another Hallway)
The hallway is littered with “pranced” bodies. The Prancer is prancing on another victim at the end of the hallway (where the camera is watching). The Prancer prances around on the last victim (who seems to be immune to the effects and is reading like G.I. or some technology magizine) and meows kitten-like while doing so. The Prancer finishes and then giggles like a little girl.
(The prancer then looks at his hello kitty watch.)
The Prancer: MEOW!
(The Prancer then takes of his mask to reveal that it is Kevin.)
Kevin: Tee-Hee
(Kevin then tucks his costume underneath the man reading the magazine.)
Kevin: Will you watch this for me?
Pranced One: Uhh, yeah sure buddy.
(Kevin walks back into a board meeting.)
Producer: That was a mighty long bathroom break Kevin.
Kevin: Sorry sir. I had to take care of some “business." I ate Mexican last night. Kevin laughs maniacally.
Kevin: MEOW!!! mehmehmeh
Everyone sits and looks at him like he’s crazy.
Someone: Kevin, seanbaby was right. You do prance around like a little sissy.
Kevin: OR DO I?
(organ plays stereotypical bumbumbum sound)
Then Kevin gets hit in the face with some steamy poo ( which is pudding)
Kevin, during a segment on the show about sites on the internet, I would love it if you would show this website for the online game "Tibia". It is a OT(Open Tibia) server, server created by other people and not the creators of Tibia, and one of the most popular servers on the net. All fans of Tibia will enjoy it and the final server will be coming out before the end of the month.
Learning English
editShows group in a meeting room, a "teacher" is explaining to them the epidemic of horrible grammar/language used online nowadays. The teacher explains these poor souls will never be able to flip a switch on/off to use proper language if they don't stop doing it online. Then he asks Kevin to pronounce the word "PWN" written on the board- after several failed attempts, the teacher explains that "PWN" is NOT pronounceable. They then begin to cover the difference between "there" and "their", "your" and "you're", and "it's" and "its". One member of the meeting/class isn't able to get the hang of using proper English, and fails. The skit ends showing the hosts that passed the class working in a professional environment on TV using proper English, and shows the failed member donning fast food garb.
Option 44
editOk, so the music just stops, and then zoom into Kevin and the guest host guy. And a voice says welcome to AOTS with your hosts Kevin and Tits McGee. (Like from Anchorman) Then you get straight into the days new thingys, but they'll all be made up. Mostly anyway. Some examples are how Bill Gates just bought out Macintosh completly, and renamed it to Crap. Or how Conan O'Brian said "Here's Max Weinberg and the max weinberg 7" to fast, and nobody understood it, so Max sued Conan for just under 72.3 million, and won.
First Commercial Break
"AND WE"RE BACK" says Kevin (like from SNL)
Then Sarah does some damn good downloads, but ironically, none of them are even a little good. Like, tell people to download IE 5, or something. You could also possibly just tell them about new Windows Updates to download, but make a big deal about it. Like this.
Sarah- "So, this next one is really cool. It's windows update KB890830. What it does is make it about 2% harder for people to screw up your machine." My next update is windows update KB894391. This one is even better. It makes it harder for people to break through the humungous cracks in IE."
Next Commercial
"AND WE'RE BACK"
Into what I call, Twosday.
You show two video games, and compare them. It'll be exactly like versus thing in that other G4 show, except Sarah will help, and more jokes will be made.
And that's it for now, just a couple suggestions I had. Thanks. Written by: MePduh... its not working.
http://ot.tibiafans.com http://tibiarules.tibiafans.com/forums
Kevin Meets Wikipedia
editINTERIOR: OFFICE - DAY
A large group of Attack of the show employees stand around SARAH LANE at her desk. All are looking at her computer screen generally laughing and having a good time.
SARAH
See? There I am!
ALL
(Laughter and cheers)
STEVE THE EDITOR
Do me next!
SARAH types in STEVE's name.
SARAH
There you are! Wow what a great picture!
ALL
(Laughter and cheers)
KEVIN walks up to the group.
KEVIN
Hey guys, what's going on?
SARAH
We're looking ourselves up on Wikipedia.
The free online encyclopedia. It has everything!
If it's not on here, it doesn't exist.
INTERN
Oooh! Oooh! Look me up!
Sarah brings him up and everyone laughs and cheers.
KEVIN
Hey, do me next!
Sarah does some typing but nothing comes up.
SARAH
Um....
KEVIN
Try it with a capital "P"...
SARAH
Sorry, there doesn't seem to be anything here.
KEVIN
But I'm the star of the show!
The crowd laughs at this and then disperses. Sarah leaves as well with a consolitory pat on the back for KEVIN.
KEVIN (Cont.)
(Screaming) But I'm the star of the show!
FADE TO BLACK
Option 45
editHow about something like a jeff foxworthy "you might be a redneck" but change it into "you might be a noob if". just and idea. and and have a guy dress up in flannel saying them.
Option 45.5
editKevin comes in with a fruit drink.
Kevin: Man, I like beverage!
Brendan: Kevin, you're a fruit.
Kevin: FRUIT BEVERAGE!!! *looks very over enthused*
Option 46 - Kevin's Pink Shirt
editScene opens on KP wearing a flaming pink polo shirt sitting next to generic intern playing video games (sound of game in the background is Yars Revenge or Frogger etc..).
GI: Hurry up dude, boss lady is coming in!
In walks SL looking pretty pissed off.
SL: Hey guys! We've been waiting for you to finish that damn game for 3 weeks. You know we have 2 more (holds up 2 Nintendo cartridges) for you to Test. Whats the holdup?
KP: Well, were almost done with this. You need to pre-render the graphics of course, and Zurthgoth the Unholy on lvl 3 needs better ai.
SL: (With INSANE S.E.G on face) Thanks guys! (She leaves room)
GI: Isn't this insane that you parlayed you love of video games into a career?!
KP: And my Mom told me I'd never get ANYWHERE playing these things!
End Scene
-Matt Willer, NY
Dude you ripped it those lines from a commerical on t.v. about that one online college. THats just weak man just weak. Can't even think for your own self.
Good catch captain obvious. It would make no sense if someone didn't see the commertial.
Op 47
editAttack of the Show Skit
“Drinkers on ATOS; The unknown truth.”
Characters · News Reporter : Brendan Moran · Interviewee : Kevin Pereria · Vomitting Employee : Drunk Vader · Intern : Any ATOS Intern
The idea of this skit is to joke about the amount of drinking that the AOTS employees do
Script
(Camera is on Brendan)
Brendan is standing against a white background for the beginning
Brendan: We here at Attack of the Show have come to a shocking discovery. The following report may shock some of our viewers but be prepared. This is not for the light of heart and may be quite unsettling.
Camera goes to an employee vomiting into a toilet and holding a bottle of beer.
Brendan: Thats right viewers we here on ATOS have discovered that massive amounts of drinking... can lead to vomiting, and we are just as shocked as you.
(Switches to another area – Kevins desk)
Kevin is sitting at his desk holding his head weeping. Brendan has his mic on Kevin and Kevin begins to speak irrationaly.
Kevin: No one told us that this would happen. I just drank my normal Margarita, shot of jack daniels, 7 beers, another shot of jack and another Margarita. NOW look at me! My head hurts and I think I'm going to....
Kevin gets up, steps over a garbage can near his desk runs to another cubicle, pushes down an intern and throws up into a garbage can.
Brendan: Thats right. Many don't know until it's too late but this could be you. Remember viewers we brought it to you first. From AOTS, I'm Brendan Moran.
Brendan brings out a bottle of some fake alcohol and begins to drink as the camera fades to black.
Op 48
editKevin and Brendan are crouched behind a desk, snickering, as Sarah walks up to a refrigerator. Sarah opens the door and reaches for a beverage. She opens it causing the can to explode, spilling its contents all over her. Kevin and Brendan laugh loudly, drawing the attention of, a now irrate Sarah towards them. They both get this fear of God look on their faces as they watch Sarah turn green and hulk up. (Incredible Hulk style) Kevin and Brendan look at each other and start to run throughout the AOTS halls, Sarah in hot pursuit, leaving awake of destruction in her path. Kevin stops Brendan. Kevin- Gimme your shoe. Brendan- What? Kevin- You heard me. Brendan- I am not giving you my shoe. Sarah- SARAH SMASH!! (She gives a yell, that sounds like her wookie call) Kevin looks at her and takes Brendan's right shoe from him. Brendan- Hey...What...I need an adult, I need an adult!!! Kevin throws the shoe at Sarah. Brendan and Kevin watch as it bounces off her. Random Guy enters the scene, wearing a shirt that says 'adult' on it. Random Guy- Did someone need an adult? Brendan- Yeah, right here. (points at Sarah) Go get her! Random Guy rushes toward her, arms flailing. Brendan looks at Kevin. Brendan- Your a freakin genious. I can't believe you host this show. Kevin- (smiles and shrugs) Well.... Brendan- Oh come on, I only have one shoe now. Sarah throws the guy wearing the adult shirt aside, smashing him into a wall. This causes Kevin and Brendan to take off running. They run towards a vending machine. Brendan- Quick, gimme a dollar? Kevin reaches into his pocket and pulls out a dollar. He is about to give it to Brendan, when he pulls it away. Kevin- This is a loan. Gives Brendan the dollar. Machine takes dollar and reads vending. Sarah reaches them. Kevin- Brendan stall her! Brendan- What? How? Kevin- I don't know. Challenge her to a bubble gum chewing contest or something. Brendan- That's it Pereira. What's wrong with chewing gum? Kevin and Brendan start to ramble back and forth. Making fun of one another, more specifically, their habits. Kevin- Nothing's wrong with it. Everytime I see you, your chewing it. You most go through like a pack a day. Brendan- Atleast I don't wear a long sleeved shirt under a short sleeved shirt. You most do a lot of laundry. Not to mention how thin you are, why don't you eat a sandwich sometime. Brendan changes the subject back to the real topic at hand. Brendan- Why don't you stall her? Kevin- Me, no way. My looks and witty banter are to important to this show. How about rock, paper, scissors? Brendan looks at Kevin annoyed. Brendan- Fine. Brendan and Kevin- One, two, three, shoot. Kevin throws rock. Brendan throws paper. Brendan- Ha...paper covers rock. Kevin gives a friendly smile. Kevin- Look a pair of sunglasses!! Brendan- (turns to look) Where? Kevin throws Brendan to the ground towards Sarah. Brendan flips to his back just in time to see Sarah coming at him. Brendan screams a terrifying scream. (a girly scream) Kevin- (turns in grimace)Oh....Papa spank. Kevin reaches for the can out of the machine and gives it to Sarah. Kevin- Here you go buddy. Sarah turns back to normal and sees Brendan laying on the floor in a bloody mess. Sarah- Oh my God!! What happened to Brendan? Kevin- He was running with his sunglasses on again and ran into a door. Sarah- (Shakes her head) It was bound to happen sooner or later. That's way there made for people to wear out doors. END.
== Drunk Vader v.s. Brendan (Skywalker) Moran ==
edit(Drunk Vader stumbles into the stage.)
Brendan:(as he looks up from typing in a cubicle) Hello.
Drunk Vader:(as he movescloser to Brendan) Brendan I am your uncle's cousin's sister's stepbrother's cousin twice removed.
Brendan:(looks at Drunk Vader statled and trys to talk but words wont come to him)
Drunk Vader: I cannot let continue on fighting against me so join me.
Brendan:(gets out of chair) never.
Drunk Vader: What I meant to say was join me for a drink.
Brendan:(relaxing) oh okay.
(cuts to bar)
Drunk Vader: Im glad you came with me.
Brendan: No thank you.
Drunk Vader: How About a drinking contest
Brendan: You're on.
(after three shot glasses Drunk Vader passes out and hitshis head on the bar countertop.)
Brendan:(stands and cheers) yeah I won.
Drunk Vader:(groans)
Brendan: hey you okay.;You better be okay you still have to pay for all the drinks.
(Brendan takes Drunk Vader's fourth shot glass Drinks and runs out of the bar)
(End Skit)
-Matt H
Drunk Vader v.s. Brendan (Skywalker) Moran
edit(Drunk Vader stumbles into the stage.)
Brendan:(as he looks up from typing in a cubicle) Hello.
Drunk Vader:(as he movescloser to Brendan) Brendan I am your uncle's cousin's sister's stepbrother's cousin twice removed.
Brendan:(looks at Drunk Vader statled and trys to talk but words wont come to him)
Drunk Vader: I cannot let continue on fighting against me so join me.
Brendan:(gets out of chair) never.
Drunk Vader: What I meant to say was join me for a drink.
Brendan:(relaxing) oh okay.
(cuts to bar)
Drunk Vader: Im glad you came with me.
Brendan: No thank you.
Drunk Vader: How About a drinking contest
-Matt H. Brendan: You're on.
(after three shot glasses Drunk Vader passes out and hitshis head on the bar countertop.)
Brendan:(stands and cheers) yeah I won.
Drunk Vader:(groans)
Brendan: hey you okay.;You better be okay you still have to pay for all the drinks.
(Brendan takes Drunk Vader's fourth shot glass Drinks and runs out of the bar)
(End Skit)
Height Disadvantage
editThis isn't a fully thought out skit, but some comment on Kevin's apparent lack of height would be neat. Like, maybe KEVIN could be six or seven inches taller than the GUESTS for once. You know, with special shoes. I dunno.
option 53 ==
Lord of the Office vs. Lord of the Sith Scene Opens with drunk vader walking down a row of cubicles Drunk Vader: *grumbling* waddaya mean dont serve sith gah! Vader rounds a cubicle and bumps into Office Jesus. Vader: Watch it buddy Dark lord of the Sith walkin here. Office jesus rolls his eyes and stars to walk on but vader pulls up hand as if to force choke him Office Jesus keeps on Vader follows and finds Office Jesus at the water cooler filling a cup. DV confronts OJ trying to force choke him, Office Jesus: Your sad devotion to that ancient religion makes you weak. Drunk Vader: Oh Yeah What you got huh? OJ dips finger in cup, his water turns to wine, Drunk Vader: you truly are the son of god! Keven moves into frame. Kevin: Hey sarah did you see that??? Sarah moves into frame, Sarah: what the wine thing, that is so old! But he does make a good magarita!
Option 54
editLord of the Office vs. Lord of the Sith Scene Opens with drunk vader walking down a row of cubicles Drunk Vader: *grumbling* waddaya mean dont serve sith gah! Vader rounds a cubicle and bumps into Office Jesus. Vader: Watch it buddy Dark lord of the Sith walkin here. Office jesus rolls his eyes and stars to walk on but vader pulls up hand as if to force choke him Office Jesus keeps on Vader follows and finds Office Jesus at the water cooler filling a cup. DV confronts OJ trying to force choke him, Office Jesus: Your sad devotion to that ancient religion makes you weak. Drunk Vader: Oh Yeah What you got huh? OJ dips finger in cup, his water turns to wine, Drunk Vader: you truly are the son of god! Keven moves into frame. Kevin: Hey sarah did you see that??? Sarah moves into frame, Sarah: what the wine thing, that is so old! But he does make a good magarita!
OPTION 55
edit(Kevin P. is hitting on another worker. Hes leaning with his hand on the wall around her) KP: So I dont wanna brag or anything, but Im kind of a big deal around here. (Office Jesus appears behind him, with a margarita in hand) OJ: Thou shalt not be LAME! KP: What do you think youre doing Jesus? OJ: Just celebrating Margarita Tuesday. KP: No, no. Its Margarita Friday. OJ: Everday is Margarita day for Office Jesus. KP: Well then, in that case, do you mind if Kevin gets a little drinky? OJ: MEGAPHONE THIS! (then Office Jesus whips Kevin with a megaphone)
== OPTION 57 scene 1:wide shot of bar door where Kevin walks into the bar.
scene 2:Kevin comes up to the bar and signals for a beer.
bartender says"going to need some id"
scene 3:kevin reaches for his wallet and shows his id
bartender shakes head no.
scene 4:Kevin says " what?" in disbelief then says "how bout these?" scene 5:Kevin shows three more ids
id 1: drunkvader
id 2: office jesus
id 3: sarah
scene 6:bartender shakes head no.kevin says "what?" scene 7; Brandon walks in and signals for a beer and gets it. Kevin looks stunnes
KittenKiller's Way edit
[Scene starts off perfectly fine showing a wonderfully dandy day at the office. Kevin Pereira is at his cubicle, working (lol)...]
"Hmm" Kevin ponders, "If pople were made out of chocolate, I could have probably had licked that shirt dry off Jennifer Walcott."
Kevin slowly turns his head around and sees something...Could it be...?
[Camera depicts Demon-Kitty as a massive, horrendous monster Getting It's own 3-pic zoom-in]
Demon-Kitty jumps out onto Kevin, starting some hott man-on-cat action.
In the midst of the fight, Sarah Lane passes by Kevin's cubicle in slow-mo with flames in the background, looking to see whats happening to Kevin.
Sarah asks Kevin where Demon-Kitty came from and he replies: IT CAME...............FROM EBAYYYY!!!
Sarah: "I don't think everybody heard you."
Kevin: "Then MEGAPHONE THIS."
Brendan Moran: "SoOoOo, just play dead; SoOoOoO, it would just go away."
Demon-Kitty backs off and trips and dies.
Demon-Kitty's dying words are: "Who...are...you?"
Kevin: "I'm Rick James, B****[Show starts before 'Behotch' is said]
~ By: Fahad Shah (aka. KittenKiller) Fahad822@gmail.com
skit idea
editbadgers get homerowed. badger badger, but OJ beats them down, then whacks snake, and shouts "attack of the show!!"
Okay Times Up
editOkay.. I think Time is up... now what do we do? I believe our finalized list of 6 cool new things is Fine.... but.. what about the skit... we never really edited any... we have 3 that seem really good (I read each and every one and picked the three with the most originality and that could be done in 30 seconds.) plus a 4th one that... if all else fails... can be done easily (and anoyingly)
So now what?
~Ally Kat
Can I stop trying to Edit the Page
editSince the page has not been prtoected, I dont know if AOTS has taken its ideas from the site yet. So I have to keep editing to keep my ideas in there. I am just going to stop. Hopefully AOTS got its links, and a good script thanks to ally kat
Late script entry, (they're not going to use it anyway)
editThe Death of Office Jesus by "FahQuad"
Office Jesus walks through the office smirking, looking full of himself. He hears a noise, and turns to see all the office workers he's wronged, in other words, everybody. The crowd has the look of a seriously pissed off lynch mob. Office Jesus' expression changes to one of concern as he says "Oh crap! Not again!". He flees in panic. The crowd corners him quickly. Office Jesus raises a hand and says, very dramatically, "Let the one among you who is without sin, cast the first the stone!" Panning across the crowd shows that no one considers themselves without sin. Kevin then says "Well, there's plenty of sinners here," motioning to the crowd surrounding him, "but you didn't say anything about a stapler!" Kevin throws a stapler at Office Jesus, hitting him in the head. Sarah adds, "Or a letter opener!" Sarah throws the letter opener hitting Office Jesus in the abdomen. (Special appearance by) Johnny Extreme adds, "Or a chainsaw!" Blood sprays everywhere. We all burn in hell. THE END.
Best Skit Not Accepted
editScene opens with Kevin and Sarah in their jammies asleep on the big red couch. Kevin wakes up startled and immediately wakes up Sarah. He tells her about his dream of a cool show called The Screen Savers where everyone was intelligent and the show was worth watching. Then Kevin Rose enters the scene, punches Kevin P-whatever-his-name-is and pulls out a big TSS logo'd sign from behind the couch, setting it up against the coffee table-whatever it is. Camera zooms in on sign then fades to black. Wednesday we're all treated to the return of TechTV. Woohoo!
Stop The Insanity
editPlease Guys, I've had enough. We have been jerking around with the AOTS user page plenty, it's not going to be on the show anymore so just knock it off and leave the site alone. Also, I would appreciate it if you'd leave the Top 3 list of Skits alone... I made a compromise and put BOTH versions of my Skit up (The Link Genie Skit) but deleting it just stresses me out and makes you look like a jerk. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to fix this site so if we could keep the "Sara Porn" and self advertising to a dull roar....
I'd appreciate it. Sincerely yours,
Ally Kat
The User Page has been protected
editI will unlock it after tonight's episode of AOTS,7 PM EDT.To make sure nobody messes it up.
- Can someone fix the typo in "fetured on National TV" in the "Protected" box, please.? "Featured".
- Done,thanks to Google
re: Kevin Meets Wikipedia
editI just wanted to point out that this one ( User_talk:Attackoftheshow#Kevin_Meets_Wikipedia ) is also very good. Runner up?
(and no, I didn't write it). -- Lyberty 20:10, 17 August 2005 (UTC)
Props
editA special 'Thank You' goes to the Admin User:Redwolf24 for trying to maintain some semblance of order during this event. (For example, he took the time to add each serious script submission to the main page; see the page history for the main page and the discussion page.) Thanks also to User:Liberty Miller. - Lyberty 21:19, 17 August 2005 (UTC)
Hardhitting Journalism
editHey, Attackoftheshow, nice job on that Wikipedia episode. You really phoned that one in !
So educational too! Brilliant idea about sending the viewers somewhere other than your forums for a while!
It sure kept them busy!
Attack of the show Forums: http://forums.g4tv.com/categories.cfm?catid=59
RANDOM Internet phenomenon LINKAGE!!!!!!!!!
Show Discussion
editBow to the cow!
edit _ _
((___))
[ x x ]
\ /
(' ')
(U)
fun 4 me
no fun 4 you
!!!
editBring Seanbaby back!
edit
is anyone here? 24.188.203.181 21:32, 25 May 2006 (UTC)