Barneypacker

AfC notification: Draft:Passive millimeter wave camera has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission:

The articles will be considered promotional if it leads up to the advertisement for the product of a single company. The first step is to discuss who invented the principle and developed it, mentioning key patents and publications. Then. if there are multiple products, they shall be mentioned, about one sentence each. If this s the only one, again a single sentence is appropriate, and it need be carefully worded.

The references must be written in WP:CITE format, showing th not just thet itle, but the source, so it is easy to see which of them are PR. . Thanks! DGG ( talk ) 19:30, 19 February 2020 (UTC)

Additionally, Since this is your only contribution, and since it is about a comercial product & written somewhat promotionally. , it is reasonable to ask whether you are a connected contributor, in which case you must declare the connection. Please see our rules on Conflict of Interest If you are writing this for pay or as a staff member of the organization, see also WP:PAID for the necessary disclosures. DGG ( talk ) 19:31, 19 February 2020 (UTC)

Hi DGG,

Thanks for your comment and all the information. There is no credited sole inventor of the product, however Vu Systems are responsible for the commercial introduction of the technology into the aviation industry.

In interest of not advertising Vu Systems too much, is it still worth mentioning them as a key product? I don't want the article to come off as a page for Vu Systems, however they are very closely linked with the technology.

I've edited the referencing format of the linked articles too - hopefully this should make it clearer which are PR as you say!

Are there any other recommendations you could make in order for this article to be approved?

I should also add that I work for a PR agency that has Vu Systems as a client, however want to stress that this article aims to create awareness for the technology, and does not set out to be intentionally promotional.

Many thanks and all the best, Barney.

AfC notification: Draft:Passive millimeter wave camera has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission:

There are still some major problems:

1. As long as you only discuss one company's product this article is promotional unless it is literally the only PMMV system ever produced commercially for any application.
2. is Saab/Vu the only producer of these systems? Or is it the only producer of these systems for use in aviation? Or is it the only producer for use as an EFVS? Or is it just the first? If there are others, for any application, they must be included also. I note from the lede: "Short range passive millimeter scanners are in use today for airport screening[3] and many scientific research programs"
3. As I said earlier, The first step is to discuss who invented the principle and developed it, mentioning key patents and publications. You say. there is no one inventor; in that case, it needs a paragraph discussing the inventors, at least in summary. . .
4. As I also said earlier, The references must be written in WP:CITE format, showing not just the title, but the source, so it is easy to see which of them are PR

It might be possible to have an article on PPPW EFVS systems specifically, but this should not be done until a more general article including all suchsystems is written.

And do not use "now" or "at present"--this is an encyclopedia whose content will be permanent, not a one-time advertisement. DGG ( talk ) 18:06, 27 February 2020 (UTC) which can be viewed at Draft:Passive millimeter wave camera. Thanks! DGG ( talk ) 18:03, 27 February 2020 (UTC)

Your draft article, Draft:Passive millimeter wave camera

Hello, Barneypacker. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Passive millimeter wave camera".

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been deleted. If you plan on working on it further and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.

Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 17:16, 28 August 2020 (UTC)