User talk:Bayleelakey/sandbox

Just looking at the top two sections so the rest of my group can critique the other sections.

I found two typos in the second section. "This increase in racial tension across the nation fed to rising concerns.." should be corrected to nation "LED"?

"Their goal was to educated black inmates..." Should be corrected to "EDUCATE"?

Minor errors but overall the first two sections are solid intros. If possible provide more information on the leader/creation? Also, did they have a logo or symbol they used that can fill in the box on the top right? RSayles (talk) 01:54, 14 October 2016 (UTC)

RSayles, thank you for your feedback, we have fixed those two typos and are working on your other suggestions. Bayleelakey (talk) 03:38, 4 November 2016 (UTC)

Dear group 8, I love this entry. I have never heard of this before so it was amazing learning about it, especially since incarceration rates continue to grow at crazy rates. I believe the Origin section is the strongest section, being straight to the point and having a clear timeline. Also the timeline is very helpful when explaining the evolution and facts about it’s peaks. The opening segment that is entitled Black Cultural Association is a little dense with information. I feel like a little more explanations as to what the individual parts you bring up. Mainly the last sentence of that section I believe could be explained a little further to better the understanding of your audience. I love that you included the conspiracies section to show that there were doubters or people against them, but they still meet and stood up for their education. Casey Kekiwi (talk) 20:50, 14 October 2016 (UTC)

Casey Kekiwi thank you for your feedback, we are working to make adjustments with regards to your ideas Bayleelakey (talk) 03:38, 4 November 2016 (UTC)

Casey Kekiwi thanks for your advice, really boosted our confidence on writing this entry Steph.legault (talk) 17:35, 7 November 2016 (UTC)Stephanie Legault

Feedback

Nice work on your draft. One thing that needs fixing is the section header capitalization - they should use sentence capitalization (only the first word and proper nouns capitalized) not title capitalization.
(When replying to this message, please include {{ping|Ian (Wiki Ed)}} in your response, to ensure that I see your reply.)
Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:25, 25 October 2016 (UTC)

THANKS

@Ian (Wiki Ed):, we read your feedback and have made the appropriate changes! Thank you for taking the time to read our draft. Bayleelakey (talk) 23:55, 2 November 2016 (UTC)

Thanks Ali!

Hello Ali, thank you for your feedback. We went in and added more sources to back up our statements where you said we needed to. Also, we reordered some of the content so that the page would flow better. Bayleelakey (talk) 21:37, 8 November 2016 (UTC)