User talk:Bazante.m/sandbox

Peer Review:

What does the article (or section) do well?

I think you chose a really interesting and relevant topic to write about and I really like they way provided reasoning behind the global effect of our diets. You did a great job at portraying why this is an important subject to know about.

What changes would you suggest overall?

• first line: defined as
• comma between united nations and food and agriculture organization
• maybe explain what effect global diets have and why sustainable diets are a better alternative. or at least say explicitly that these are the norm.
• define GHG before using it - i feel like some reading this might not know
• maybe change the second heading to Effects of Animal Agriculture

What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution?

I think altering the outline of this article would really help readers better understand the main points of sustainable diets. Im thinking a general definition, followed by an explanation of why they are important, followed by the different kinds. maybe other sections needed as well if all of your points don’t fall under those.

Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own?

My article explains different approaches to a subject similarly to yours but I really like the way you provide more background information in yours. It tells a story more than just defining what each kind of sustainable diet is.

--Killeenkr (talk) 23:46, 21 March 2017 (UTC)

Peer Review 2

What does the article (or section) do well?

• Great topic!
• I love the links at the end of the article for more exploration among similar topics.
• You cover a lot of elements well: sustainable diet definition, food security, plant vs animal diets.

What changes would you suggest overall?

• Adding a bulleted list to the diets denominated as sustainable might make the reading more clear.
• Awkward wording in first sentence
• Typo? Dietary shifts studied[11] are based on reductions of...
• Sentences under 'Global Dietary Shifts' don't make sense

What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution?

• Some of the links are placed in the middle of a sentence. They should be placed at the end of all relevant sentences.
• Adding some sentences to every section might help add coherency

Kempf.k (talk) 05:14, 23 March 2017 (UTC)Kempf.k (talk) 21:10, 21 March 2017 (UTC)