User talk:Camden McCusker/sandbox
What do people think about me making another section titled Andean Region, tying these countries together, and describe some of the policy and programs where they interacted?
---Or should I just continue to elaborate on these countries individually?
Also I know I am missing footnotes, I am trying to go through and show where I will need them.
Zachary Bennett's Review of Your Rough Draft
editThere are many positives to this rough draft. Your points are developed and you have paid attention to detail. For example, your section on Ecuador provides an excellent and in-depth explanation of Ecuador's drug laws and their effects. I was also impressed by the organization of your rough draft, with one section for each country involved. I understand that you have not written your sources into the document, but I am under the impression that you have a variety of excellent sources. Obviously, you should add your footnotes soon, because those are difficult to add at the last second and you should prove that your claims have a scholarly basis.
My criticisms of your rough draft are generally directed at specific sections and sentences, rather than indictments of the entire article. You briefly touch upon the cultural significance of coca to indigenous Andeans, but you should definitely elaborate on that more. Your section about Peru is shorter than the others, and you should both lengthen that section and add sources for it. Your work is generally without bias, but, while referencing Colombian drug policy, you do explicitly say that "This prohibitionist regime has had negative results, especially on human rights." To me, this sentence is too editorialized. You could avoid this problem by citing research saying that the policies were ineffective or counterproductive, or by quoting an academic of activist who has a negative opinion of this policy.
Also, you definitely should add an "Andean Region" section. Your article is, after all, about the Andean Region, and there probably are issues that are specific to that region or examples of these countries cooperating to combat drug trafficking. Such information likely would not be found elsewhere on Wikipedia.Zacharyhbennett (talk) 10:33, 11 April 2017 (UTC)