Casey518

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Welcome!

Hello, Casey518, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:45, 27 March 2019 (UTC)

Response

Hi, I have some notes for you:

Avoid subjective terms such as appealing, as these will be dependent on the reader. For example, one may see it as appealing while another would potentially disagree with that statement. Opinion based terms should typically be avoided unless we're directly attributing it to a specific person as this can run afoul of the neutral point of view and is generally not compatible with Wikipedia's formal writing style. You also want to make sure that you're only summarizing the source material and that you're not drawing your own conclusions or own connections between the literature.

The sourcing is definitely good and I think that you have a good start here, it just needs more work. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:53, 8 April 2019 (UTC)