User talk:Chrismulterer/sandbox

Add National Coalition Against Censorship to intro paragraph. Chrismulterer (talk) 04:23, 7 November 2016 (UTC)Chrismulterer

Chris, I think that the ideas that you have will be really beneficial for the article! You need to think about which section each of these chunks will go under. I think that first paragraph you wrote can be under the overall background information, and could start as a really good introduction. Then, the second chunk could be included under the "reasons for censorship" section and you would need to break down all of the points that you are hoping to further research into subsections, so "Book censorship on social grounds" and "Book censorship on political grounds". If you are going to research all of this different areas, which I think you should, you need to make sure the differences between political and social and religious are clear. Example) Would you include issues with same-sex relationships under political or religious? If you put it under both, then you have to discuss the difference in partisan views versus the idea that homosexuality is a sin.

Also, you are missing a lot of citations for information that is really interesting but if you came up with all of it on your own, it is too much inference (considering that we are bias). I cited the same article about 5 times in a row, which is totally ok, because I think it is better to have extra citations than not enough, and right now, I think you don't have enough... Professor said to aim to have one after every statement, but you only have a few per paragraph...

Consider looking into organizations that are in support of book censorship, since you laid out and described the missions of organizations that oppose censorship really well. This way, the viewpoint would remain neutral and be informative in having multiple viewpoints on the complex issue.

Overall, really interesting content! I added some tweaks and edits that I shared over google docs that you will want to look at for grammar and word choice changes. Here is the link for the google doc that I edited onto: https://docs.google.com/a/georgetown.edu/document/d/1rPu2-eKoXB2VHA_8MQZWLgQZpF2hTny0tVz_Iyd1z68/edit?usp=sharing Shirshorn (talk) 16:37, 28 November 2016 (UTC)shirshorn Shirshorn (talk) 18:24, 21 November 2016 (UTC)shirshorn

Hey Chris it's Isaac. I just wrapped up looking at your draft. I like the strength of your writing, as well as how well you maintained neutrality. I put some suggestions on the google doc I shared with you. The main thing I suggested was looking to see if there were hyperlinks where you could link books and characters to your writing. I feel that that is an easy addition to help readers find places to get background if they don't have any. The book titles need to be Italicized. Spelling and grammar looked fine, but I would suggest underlining or italicizing book titles. I'm not sure how to tie in your article to mine, but I think there may be an opportunity to discuss the banning of the textbook in the ethnic studies course and relate it to censorship in a more broad use. Isaacschley (talk) 18:01, 28 November 2016 (UTC)