Clee375
| This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/University_of_Wisconsin_Madison/ELPA_845_School_Level_Leadership_(Spring_2017). Student assignments should always be carried out using a course page set up by the instructor. It is usually best to develop assignments in your sandbox. After evaluation, the additions may go on to become a Wikipedia article or be published in an existing article. |
Feedback on sandbox article
editHi, I'm the content expert for your class and your instructor asked me to leave you some feedback. I see that you're working on a draft at User:Clee375/Data-driven Instructional Systems, so I'll provide feedback on that.
Offhand this looks good. You will need to use in-line citations, but this looks like it's still in its drafting stage. The only thing I would warn you about is that you need to make sure that this doesn't read too much like a research paper as opposed to an encyclopedia article. To use an example, avoid using "to be more specific" because that's something that you'd see in a paper written by one person. You can use similar phrases like "in specific" or "specifically", though.
Make sure that when you're introducing a person (via their research) in a sentence for the first time, that you give their whole name (ie, "according to John Smith") as opposed to just their last name ("According to Smith"). You can't guarantee that the reader is familiar with this person, especially in cases where a researcher's last name is a common one.
Other than that, it looks good and you have an excellent start here. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 05:01, 3 May 2017 (UTC)
- Hi! I'm checking in to see your work. It looks like you've expanded the article more, which is good, but you need to add more sourcing to the article. It looks like you're only using one source, a paper by Halverson et al. You'll need to be able to show more coverage in order to establish notability for this system. Since Halverson and the others were the ones who laid out the work, you'll need to find sourcing from someone other than them to establish notability, as this will show that the system has a depth of coverage. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 04:35, 10 May 2017 (UTC)