DGH91
Feedback for Sandbox
editContent
editOverall, the introduction is fairly readable. It may help to include a very, very brief summary of properties and applications, as the average non-expert would not know what LDPE is used for. Therefore, the significance of PBAT being used as an alternative to LDPE does is not immediately obvious. It may help to also briefly summarize the advantage of PBAT over LDPE. Also, it’s not clear from the introduction that PBAT is a copolymer. That would be something to highlight in the introduction as well
In terms of each section-- Under “History”, too much spent on explaining what PET is. I suggest explaining PET’s resistance to biodegradation in one sentence. Users who are more interested in understanding PET will be able to check-up the respective Wiki page. Also, the content of “History” could be expounded a bit more; moreover, the content outlines more the reason for production of PBAT, but not so much the detailed history leading up to the production of PBAT. For example, explaining who first synthesized the polymer, what their motivation was, how they went up discovering PBAT, and so forth. You might consider putting some information of current uses under the “History” section, too. I would also add more information on the properties and preparation of PBAT, such as more specific quantitative values (e.g. modulus range). It might help to look at PET page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyethylene_terephthalate) for a good outline. For instance, the properties box on the side might be a nice touch to include. Under “Preparation”, it might be better to more generally outline the synthesis reaction, rather than using the exact detailed synthesis. That is, provide the important details for a Wiki-user to know, rather than re-outlining the exact synthesis from a paper (again, reference PET Wikipage for a good idea). “Current and Future Uses” is well-written!
Not all important terms/concepts are linked, such as PET, copolymer, landfill, modulus, strength, brittle, polymer, flexible, random copolymer, crystalize, toughness. Some phrases to link throughout whole article include biodegradable, plastics, melt polycondensation. You may want to consider linking Ecoflex, Easter Bio, and Origo-Bi
Aside from highlighting too much information on PET, overall the highlighted examples seem appropriate, nor is the content duplicative of any other content already on Wikipedia.
Figures
editThe figures are original and of high quality. However, the figures are not specifically referenced or explained in the text, so they do not really add to the text. The user has to figure out which figure aligns with what step under preparation. It may help to also label each molecule. Structures seem chemically accurate and aligned. For easier readability, for Step 2 of the synthesis, I suggest that the aromatic ester be redrawn with “OEt” or “O-CH3” instead.
References
editReferences are complete and also include non-journal sources.
Overall Presentation
editOverall, good start in terms of giving general information, especially given that the original stub had nothing at all on PBAT. My biggest suggestion is to go a little more in depth which each topic and also get rid of irrelevant information that may not be appropriate for a Wikipedia audience. Also, make sure the information is relevant to the sub-headers. I would also suggest tightening up the grammar and languages. For instance, avoid using the “you” pronoun. Figures and references have overall been done well; what could be improved is mainly content of the page.
Great work! --Gracelyu (talk) 06:27, 28 February 2014 (UTC)
Greetings from the online ambassador
editHello
Welcome to Wikipedia, I hope you enjoy your time here and choose to stay. I am an online ambassador for your course, so I will be available to help you out with Wikipedia editing, but not in person. If you want my attention you can email me at Special:EmailUser/Graeme Bartlett or talk to me at User talk:Graeme Bartlett. I am from Australia, in the timezone which is 11 hours ahead of UTC, so I will be awake while you sleep. I have been making some chemistry articles myself lately such as 2,4-Dinitroanisole and borinic acid. Since you are actually studying Chemistry I expect you will be much more knowledgeable than me. Graeme Bartlett (talk) 20:21, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
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