Darbyjoan94
Welcome!
editHello, Darbyjoan94, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:54, 4 October 2019 (UTC)
Week 8 Peer Review
editI like how succinct your lead section is but it doesn’t seem to be representative of the article as a whole. That Weatherford is a New York Times bestselling author who has been awarded a Caldecott Award and an NAACP Image Award seems significant enough for a potential reader to include in the opening sentences. I found the coverage of her Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z criticism to be intriguing but it seems to be buried at the end of the article. Perhaps, a teaser of this criticism could be included in the lead as well.
Right now, I feel like you provide ample coverage of the different aspects of Weatherford’s life. The article, though, may benefit from reorganizing the sections you’ve created. I think the chronological order of her life story works well but I think switching the “Personal Life” section with her criticism may help the article flow better. When I saw the headings for Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z, I was initially confused. I think creating a larger heading of “Literary Criticism” and nesting those two franchises underneath may help.
I know this is only a draft but I feel that formatting the article as it will appear when published can help orient the reader and guide them along. Lastly, I think the article would benefit from more citations. There are biographical claims and assertions made of Weatherford’s work that are not currently cited. Just connecting each claim to the reference you’ve found can improve the credibility of the article. Overall, I found this to be a very well-written, balanced, and engaging article about Carole Boston Weatherford. I look forward to the final article!
Thank you! Cry598a (talk) 22:45, 11 November 2019 (UTC)
Hello! Thanks for working to improve this article. I compared your sandbox to the current article and found some new sentences you added in the personal life and allegations sections. Your new statements are concise, clear, cited, and free from bias. I like that you add that Weatherford is not the only one to critique these characters. You cite that in the Pokemon section but not in Dragon Ball. In the Dragon Ball section, I’d consider citing the source and getting rid of the word “certainly” to keep it even more neutral.
I like the addition of a personal life section. The current article has a very large biography section which could be broken up into early life, personal life, and selected works to make it more manageable and organized for readers. Since Weatherford is known for children’s books, I want that to stand out and not get lost in a long biography section. I would put this before awards and then put allegations at the end.
The current article also depends heavily on quotes to express the author’s motivations, etc. which does not fit the Wikipedia guidelines. Many of the quotes appear to be taken from the same interview. I recommend cutting out the quotes except when necessary and paraphrasing those motivations in your more succinct language. You may also want to find additional sources like newspaper articles to back up that interview if possible.
The current article does not have a date of birth or photo, and I would love to see that if possible. Other than that, I am unfamiliar with this author so I cannot say if anything is missing. I do notice the books and awards discussed are older, so you may find newer information to add if she has been active in the past decade. Good luck, and thanks again! DanaGhouse (talk) 01:03, 18 November 2019 (UTC)
Your draft article, Draft:Jacqueline Woodson/Darbyjoan94 Peer Review
edit
Hello, Darbyjoan94. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Darbyjoan94 Peer Review".
In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply and remove the {{db-afc}}, {{db-draft}}, or {{db-g13}} code.
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Thank you for your submission to Wikipedia! JMHamo (talk) 08:59, 9 June 2020 (UTC)