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User talk:Desmond Hobson/sandbox2

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On this talk page, I go "behind the scenes" of the 40 wish list items I have selected, and posted on the sandbox2 page, and explain the derivation of each item.

List items

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#40, The Hot Mikes

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I got the names of the smooth jazz band members from the credits of the 1970s animated series Superfriends, which included Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and other superhero characters. Michael Bell was one of the talent voices, and Michael Mitchell and Michael Bradley were others who worked on the program. By the way, that's the exact order the names appeared in the credits. (I first saw the cartoons when I was eight years old, and now I'm 34. Incredible memory, huh?)

As an aside, I checked The Rippingtons' page to find out the origin of the band's name, but was unsuccessful. I guess Russ Freeman isn't telling.:(

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#39, McButter Lenahan

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She is an actual young woman who lived in upstate New York as of 2003. I ran a Google search to try to find other people named McButter after I saw the Molly McButter phone book listing I referenced on the page. Her name came up in the search. I wish her all the best in her life, and I'll keep checking for updates.

If Lenahan actually existed, she would be the biggest name in bowling right now. The sport had a good profile from the mid-1960s to the mid-1980s, but it disappeared from the sports map after ABC Sports canceled the Pro Bowlers Tour program. I vaguely remember the heyday of the late Earl Anthony and others like Marshall Holman and Bo Burton. Today, it's still on ESPN (as I referenced on the page) and the tour is sponsored by Denny's. But it's harder to find it on the sports pages and TV highlights than action sports or the latest nonevent involving Terrell Owens (or David Beckham, if you live outside the United States).

UPDATE: Kelly Kulick became the first woman to qualify for exempt status for the PBA Tour in the 2006-07 season.

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Results from her LeisureLand Juniors Prep season in 2001

#38, Ryan Lindell and Lynn Ann Swann

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I lifted both their names from the football field. Rian Lindell is a veteran National Football League placekicker who (I believe) still plays for the Buffalo Bills. Lynn Swann is a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame as a wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Swann, a former broadcaster with ABC Sports, is now running for governor of Pennsylvania against Ed Rendell. (So the network, now called "ESPN on ABC," is connected to two of the listings so far.) Ironically, Swann was hailed by observers for his ballet-like moves on the field. The best example of that was his acrobatic and highly agile catch during Super Bowl X.

I was tempted to place them higher, but I'm still not convinced that So You Think You Can Dance has staying power. Yes, the ratings have been good both years, but there were two signs of disrespect in 2006:

  • On many nights, the Fox broadcast was placed in a time slot directly opposite of NBC's America's Got Talent. The two programs are both direct descendants of American Idol; Simon Fuller was the creator of SYTYCD, and Simon Cowell was the creator of AGT.
  • The live season finale result show was shown one week after the performance show, instead of the usual one day. The reason is that Fox presented a telecast of NFL preseason football between the Indianapolis Colts and the St. Louis Rams on the night the result show should have been presented. Meaningless football at the start of a season instead of the announcement of a winner on a show at the end of a season? Hmmm...

Because I base so much of Lindell's and Swann's act after SYTYCD, I had to lower the ranking accordingly. Besides, after you see the rest of the list, the relative insignificance of this husband-and-wife team will become clear.

UPDATE: Rendell trounced Swann in the November 2006 election.

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#37: Rockstar Potatohead

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Admittedly, heavy metal is not my cup of tea. However, there are a lot of fans who remember fondly the days of Metallica, Guns N' Roses, and other metal bands that once dominated. Also, the 1980s brought a rash of supergroups like Damn Yankees and Asia.

I decided, why not combine the two into an entirely new rock group? While I'm at him, why not give the band a provocative name? Of course, a group named after a common profanity is risky here in the U.S., so I gave the band an alternate name.

But, of course, this is a sandbox, and with any of its content, I have the right to change it at any time. Therefore, as of 9/19/06, Bullshit/Blue Skull Project is now--drumroll--Rockstar Potatohead!

Frankly, the new name is much cooler than the old ones. It's derived from the "last names" of two boom mic operators that have participated in movies--Tommy Rockstar and Freddy Potatohead.

One of the names of the bands that contributed to BS, Bandit Gods, came from a MAD fold-in. Another band name, Betaboozebrain, came from Now You See It (1989 version) in the championship round. The other two names are connected to You Don't Know Jack; they were wrong answers to the "Jack Attack" endgame. Pin the Tail on the Frat Boy is not a kids' game and the DeTuscis do not comprise a TV family.

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#36: Shawn Brickowski

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Basketball fans, remember the inept play of National Basketball Association centers Shawn Bradley and Frank Brickowski? Well, I do, and there's nothing I like to do more than establish a good name.

Therefore, "shark hunter" Bradley Shawn Brickowski Jr., whose name is a portmanteau of the names of these two infamous pros.

In a side note, on April 1, 1992, Bradley, calling from Australia, informed his parents that he was no longer going to play basketball for Brigham Young University upon his return to the United States from a Mormon mission. Instead, he was to declare his eligibility for the NBA draft. Reportedly, his father thought it was an April Fools' Day joke. Bradley wiggled out of the situation by telling Dad that it was already April 2 in "the land down under." Bradley's comeback was as lame as his eventual NBA career.

As for what "Brick" actually did, this was based on a wrong answer on You Don't Know Jack. Specifically, "boy meets giant shark" is not a movie plot line, at least not among the choices among the movies that were part of the question.

In a sad coincidence, just two days after the Brickowski entry was posted, television documentary star Steve Irwin, who gained fame as The Crocodile Hunter, was killed by an attacking stingray. Irwin, who was 44 years old, did what Brickowski did, only on a regular basis.

#35: Larry Bruntlett

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I picked Bruntlett because he represents an honest, down-to-earth Middle American. Although he competes only in cult sports (World's Strongest Man, competitive eating), there is also a sense of American pride in him that a lot of us can identify with.

OK, so I fudged the results of the actual 2006 hot dog contest. Yes, Takeru Kobayashi won again, but so what? I watched it on ESPN and wished very fervently that an American, especially someone Bruntlett's size, could challenge this Japanese powerhouse. Somehow, I identify more with a 300-pounder than a 135-pounder in this type of contest. (Not always, though.) In the real competition, Joey Chestnut hung with Kobayashi early on but eventually lost.

More importantly for my theme, Bruntlett ties into the outcry for honesty and integrity in American sports. Barry Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, Floyd Landis, Justin Gatlin and many more--their confirmed (or in Bonds' case, alleged) drug use has disillusioned so many athletes, fans, and media members. I understand that steroids are especially a big problem in weightlifting. If someone like Bruntlett could come into the sport and show that you can win clean, it would be a huge boost within and beyond weightlifting.

One more things: the Iowa Barnstormers uniform and helmet were COOL! I want to see someone post a picture of that, especially if it's on Kurt Warner.

#34: Chill Town

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(Note: This is also not on the original page.)
I have watched every episode of Big Brother: All-Stars so far, and I come away with one clear observation: Mike "Boogie" Malin and Dr. Will Kirby should be a tag team!

They look and act just like pro wrestling stars and they would be one heck of an interview on the weekly TV programs.

Unfortunately, don't look for a Chill Town tag team in real life, because they don't appear to be big enough to be wrestlers.

Also, bear in mind that, unlike other accounts I have given so far, which are set in the recent past and present, this is set in, at best, the near future. As I type this, both Malin and Kirby are still playing Big Brother: All-Stars, and by the rules of the game, neither can return to civilian life until September 12, 2006. Even if both are eliminated before then, the two would serve on the jury to decide the winner, and that jury is also isolated from the outside world in separate accomodations. (In Malibu? Santa Monica?)

P.S. I just checked Malin's page and found out that he is a co-owner of several restaurants called The Dolce Group. Think he would junk all that to be a pro wrestler? Then again, the post-card spread would taste a lot better.(LOL)

Still, suspending my disbelief to dream about this team is wonderful, isn't it?

As for the WCWF name, it was borrowed from a fan website about pro wrestling. The webmaster contrived the name as a portmanteau of World Championship Wrestling and the World Wrestling Federation, which is now World Wrestling Entertainment. (Hint: It has its own entry later in the countdown. I'll run down the entire results of the Genesis card when I come to that listing.)

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#33. Leslie MacMitchell cosmetics

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This is an interesting page. Most of the names of people are actually names of men for whom I have contrived female "namesakes" because the men had "girl's names."

But that wasn't the only source. BooTeasha Baltimore's first name came from a website called the Kabalarians (a sect similar to the one that Madonna has joined). It has a whole list of names with their meanings, and for some reason Labooteasha was among them. I thought that was one of the coolest names I've heard of, so I just dropped the "La".

Boogerberger is an nonexistent, but cool-sounding last name; the "actresses" playing them are actually two cheerleaders. I'll have more information when their names show up again later in the countdown.

As for the product names, three of them come from professional wrestling; only "Sensational" Sherri Martel (Sherrill) was a woman. I changed the names of "Ravishing" Rick Rude and "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton to the cosmetic brand names. "Adorable Amy" came from Now You See It (1989 version), and pulled from separate championship round puzzles.

Finally, it's interesting to have two relatives of the same name in which one was a man and the other was a woman. I wonder if anyone at Wikipedia knows of a similar example; if you do, use the space in the "let me know" section.

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#32: Greta & Porky

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There's little to add here, as the main page explains both the content of the show and how the items were derived.

I would like to note two things:

  • Except for Jason Parkerson, all of the actors mentioned are real people.
  • Bonnie-Jill Laflin (whose names I rewrote to the way it should be, without the hyphen, IMHO) will appear again before the countdown is over. A clue: it's an all-star cast of B-list actors finally given A-list roles.

#31. Great Southern Kitchen

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For the third time in 10 entries, I pick something not on the original page. I guess that's why they call it the sandbox.:)

Anyway, I would love to see a restaurant that not only gathers together the best of Southern cuisine, but also family recipes, which I believe are the best recipes of all.

Also, there's a bit of celebrity panache with Buddy Wayne Barefoot, his brother Bobby Ray, and cousins Bunky and Brandy Barefoot. All four of these will appear again in some form on my way to #1.

#30. The Wild Bunch

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This is an example of a series of eponyms: the host of the shows at least the names of animals contained inside, and some have the names of the animals by themselves. I think that is a wild idea, no pun intended.

#29. Marilyn Martin

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This combines a rags-to-riches story with the pursuit of the next big thing in daytime television.

The name "Maid Marilyn" is based on an incorrect answer in a 1997 book based on the You Don't Know Jack game. That question asked for the names of domestic assistants on various television shows.

Wolfe+585, Senior was the first page I ever did for Wikipedia. Both the abbreviated 35-letter name, as well as McBiddlewhiskers and Kimberly Wimberly, were mentioned as real names in Paul Dickson's 1999 book Confessions of a Name Dropper. There is also a website mentioning all the names.

Also, a word about Steve Beverly, who I named as the network executive. You can read more about Beverly on his page, and there you can see that he already has some experience as a news director and anchor. I think he would make an excellent TV executive, because he believes in quality and integrity on primetime TV. He remembers the "good old days" of the medium and has decried its current direction toward sensationalism and graphic material. In fact, Beverly is critical of the game opera, the kind of reality television whose name he has coined. He doesn't think it will ever hold a candle to the traditional game shows.

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#28. The Real Barenaked Ladies

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This idea was in my mind for some time, but Donald Trump's comments as mentioned on the main page sealed it for me.

The lead singer's name is the real name of Anna Nicole Smith. In another sad irony that has "cursed" the list, her 20-year-old son, Daniel Wayne Smith, was found dead in the Bahamas on September 9, 2006. Local authorities are still investigating the death, but are finding it increasingly suspicious.

As for "The Real" concept, this is a backlash against bands and other performers with deceptive names, or the desire to regain or re-orient names associated with other purposes. Examples:

  • Color Me Badd goes from a four-person harmonic band to a catch phrase in the fashion industry.
  • Biggie Smalls is no longer rapper Christopher Wallace, but a professional wrestler.
  • "The New" Marky Mark (related concept) is a rapper that borrows the old stage name of Mark Wahlberg.
  • DRS (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels), Highland Place Mobsters, and II D Xtreme were all R&B groups of the early 1990s. Let's make DRS and the Mobsters into hard-core rap groups and Xtreme into a hard-core rock band.

Then there's another redone name from this category, and it will appear later in the countdown. In fact, it will be in the top five.

UPDATE: Of course, Smith herself died, of an accidental drug overdose, on February 8, 2007. This happened at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino on Seminole Indian land near Hollywood, Florida.

#27. Brooke Booker

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There are several reasons this listing works:

  • The first and last names form an anagram.
  • Her concept is, as far as I know, never before done in the culinary world.
  • She provides positive public relations for the military at a time that the Iraq war has polarized the American people.
  • An actual Brooke Booker has been stationed at Hill Air Force Base.

Also: Her fiancé's name is a modification of the name of National Basketball Association center Lorenzen Wright.

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#26. Buster Miller

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Some of you who have followed the series may be surprised by the relatively high placement of this item. Here are a few points to remember:

  • I have loved game shows for as long as I can remember. I watched all the daytime shows I could growing up, and I watch the "game operas" avidly now.
  • This is a promising new profession--game show contestant--as long as people can figure out the logistics and the details. Maybe Gameshow Marathon, with its "tournament" consisting of six different game formats, can provide a blueprint of some kind.
  • Game show contestant as profession is also promising because it would be similar to entertainment and professional sports, in which the participants make a good amount of money for relatively little effort.

The name "Buster Miller" is short for Buster Millerick, a well-known horse racing trainer in southern California.

#25. Brandon McLamb

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Behind every great star is a great handler.

Some of the highest-ranked people on my list would go nowhere without Brandon McLamb as a publicist. He's a down-to-earth guy and, as you read from the Bluebird incident, a real hero as well.

The McLamb and Barefoot last names have long lived close to each other in the area of rural North Carolina between Raleigh and Fayetteville, so the relationship, both personal and professional, is appropriate.

You may also notice a lot of red links. Those represent "dummy" Wikipedia sites to which this particular page would link.

#24. Billy Bob Bryant

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I wanted an athlete who represents the spirit of Texas--tougher than nails, and a star in two of its favorite sports, football and rodeo. I also contrived two major incidents that help him stand out from the rest of the pack.

The name comes from Billy Boy Bryant. Like Billy Bob, Billy Boy went to the University of Texas, but he was a wide receiver, not a linebacker. He actually played there in the 1980s.

#23. Eterna

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This was the setting for my first personal web site. I ran an "unofficial" Eterna page in 1996 and 1997 through College Club, then from 1997 to 2001 through go.com. The site closed down in 2001 when the Walt Disney Company reduced go.com to an e-mail server and domain for many of its in-house sites. Examples are espn.go.com and disney.go.com.

Such actual places, called "lifestyle centers" in the retail trade, are popping up all over the United States. I live near five of them; see the links below.

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#22. The Budd Brothers

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Nothing more to add on the name origins, because the main sandbox page already covers it. I just thought that it would be cool to cast two unrelated literary brothers, and a third near-namesake, together for a time travel show. And since this is an E/I show (another page I created, by the way), any TV network in America, broadcast or cable, can show it.

#21. Melanie MacMelville

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Several hooks here: a catchy, alliterate name, a beautiful singing voice, and a comeback story.

MacMelville is also a very rare last name. I guess that the name is Scottish, but the earliest mention in genealogy is the 1930 United States Census.

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#20. Brett Bartlett

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I got the idea for this character after seeing David Blaine and Criss Angel garner lots of publicity for magic acts with attitude. I thought, "Whatever happened to the good old days of magic, when all you needed was a rabbit, a lovely assistant, and a few props?"

Bartlett is part of an overarching theme I have of returning real family entertainment to the U.S. mass media. When the countdown continues, there will be another more relevant listing and I will expand on this further.

Bartlett would prove that one doesn't have to be Siegfried and Roy or David Copperfield to make it in magic. If SARMOTI and Copperfield are the equivalent of Beverly Hills, Bartlett would be like a working-class neighborhood. There should be room for everyone.

#19. Sons of Bytches

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File this under, "Why did no one think of this before?" Boy bands once made loads of cash, and some of them (see Justin Timberlake) are still successful artists. The iconic rock bands I mentioned on the main page will be remembered forever. If someone put the two together, the impact would be huge. And the gimmick is highly imaginative! I would love to manage this group.

But stay tuned: I have two more, even huger acts to come!

By the way, all the surnames mentioned are real.

#18. Booger (rapper)

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I think the main page says it all about someone like Booger is needed right now. I used to listen to a lot of rap music, before the gangsta rap era started, here in southern California around 1990. Then the murders of Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. clinched it for me.

"Booger" is a common Southern nickname, like "Bubba." A famous bearer is professional football player Anthony McFarland.

#17. BunkMaster: Operation X

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This represents what I believe is the next level of dramatic TV series in the United States. Since every network wants a high-concept drama show these days, there needs to be a hook to be distinctive. Combining storylines of serials and reality television would work in this case.

It also is the star turn of Bunky Barefoot, who I created in 1999 as a 13-year-old auto racing phenom, a new version of Jeff Gordon. This show gets him out of the shadow of a very famous cousin, with his own identity.

The pairing of the last names Barefoot and Butt, especially two former cheerleaders of those names, is irresistible.

Finally, Bonnie-Jill Laflin and Peter McRobbie, are longtime character actors who need a big break in Hollywood.

#16. World Championship Wrestling Federation

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I have been a professional wrestling fan since 1988, and I fondly remember the Monday Night Wars between the WWF and WCW. Not coincidentally, I stopped following the "sport" once the rivalry ended.

TNA has been a worthy alternative, but is nowhere near the popularity or recognition of WWE. A new challenger, a true challenge to the domination of Vince McMahon, is still waiting.

WCWF would be grass-roots, middle-class, and unpretentious, the way pro wrestling used to be. WWE is nothing but an overly polished and highly commercial form of what they call "sports entertainment," where the men are "superstars" and the women are "divas."

Rise up and support the alternative!

Here's some more backstory:

  • Big (I got his name from WWE talent director Mike Gaburick's nickname) is 6'5", 255 pounds. That's the perfect size; big enough for power moves but small enough to fly high in the air. He's Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, and Ric Flair all rolled into one. He also has Lanny Poffo's first name. I believe Lanny has gotten the rawest deal in recent wrestling history. He had to play a Frisbee-throwing jobber while brother Randy Savage soared to the top of the WWF.
  • DMW could have chosen to be reverential babyfaces, but instead they chose to show the bad side of their characters, to great effect. This is the new nWo.
  • "Lightning Bolt" represents the least-respected class of pro wrestler: the black female. "Queen Sharmell" is the best example of how poorly they have been booked.

#15. Mindy Brummett

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A horse trainer, at number 15? Why, oh why?

Go back to the site and be reminded as to how long it has been since the last Triple Crown winner in throroughbred horse racing. That's so long that, for example, ESPN has never had the Triple Crown-winning trainer or jockey interviewed on SportsCenter.

At a time when the "sport of kings," once one of the biggest sports in the U.S., has turned into a pauper, only a Triple Crown winner can bring the fans and the media back, if only for a short time. (Or, unfortunately, some horse has to suffer life-threatening injuries, like Barbaro did at the 2006 Preakness. At least he has recovered nicely.)

My heart was broken when Smarty Jones and Funny Cide, horses with underdog stories, failed to win the Belmont in, respectively, 2004 and 2003. Brummett would bring more such stories to the track for a chance of a lifetime, if she's ever given that chance.

#14. BooTeasha Baltimore

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I have been fascinated by people who can do more than one thing well, probably because they provide a backlash to the pressure to specialize that is prevalent in American society. For example, I have read that some top athletes begin specialized training in sports like baseball when they are as young as 10 years old. Some "traveling teams" form the basis of teams that play in the Little League World Series, which are supposed to represent local communities.

So someone who is a top fashion model, clothes designer, and clothes maker is irresistible. I know of only a handful of models with their own lines, and even in those cases, someone else actually designs the clothes in the models' names. And certainly no one makes the clothes themselves. It's like taking a time machine back decades, when just about all clothing was sewed by hand by dedicated housewives.

Add the woman's very beautiful first name, and you have some story. I have already covered the name under entry #33. I'll add that "Lynn Baltimore" (middle and last names) is the name of a former TV executive who worked on, among other shows, The Flip Wilson Show and Almost Anything Goes.

#13. Mary Mac Girls

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This concept is symbolic of modern British popular culture. On other hand, the Brits continue to lead in innovation and new ideas; on the other, British children and teenagers are heavily influenced by the American movies and television shows they see.

The result: a cleverly-designed British act that mirrors some of the prevalent American culture.

Mary MacBarney and Mary MacMerrill are the names of actual women; MacBarney, born in Ireland, lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with her husband, Berthold Schlessinger, and MacMerrill lived in New Hampshire and was married to a man named Nason Cass.

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#12. Billy Branigan

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I envisioned Billy as the spiritual successor to Rocky Balboa, as mentioned on the page. He also represents a longing for a heavyweight boxer to return to the top of the headlines. Even a few years ago, there was only one heavyweight champ and everyone knew who he was. Some decades ago, the title was one of the most prestigious honors in all of American sports. No longer. The sport in general is in a huge decline, and the heavyweight division is perhaps its biggest symbol. About the only place where it's still a big deal is ESPN Classic.

Besides, the talent level in this category is as low as it's ever been. Even though Branigan is fiction on top of fiction, I bet he could beat most of the real heavyweight fighters right now.

One more thing: Even if Branigan can't beat Rocky Balboa, he can sure become the next Homer Simpson or Stewie Griffin.

#11. The Ballad of Beulah Mae

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Hits the proverbial spot on several levels:

  • No easy answers. This film asks the tough questions about the repercussions of the civil rights movement on American society. Should we get rid of the things we love if it causes other people to think we hate them?
  • Loads of big breaks. By casting B-list actors, their careers advance and their names go up on the posters at theaters throughout North America.
  • Followup: What do Buddy Wayne and "Uncle Bud" do for an encore after a major hit movie like Rebel?

#10. Rebel (TV network)

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Although some listings are for specific shows, I also wanted to mention the entire network because it is trying to revive the family entertainment genre.

It would bill itself as "the real family channel," filling the gap that was created by the changes at ABC Family. That show de-emphasized the Westerns, movies, and other family-oriented shows in favor of cartoons and adult-oriented shows. I've even seen parental advisory notices on some of its programs–and I never thought I'd see that! In fact, ABC Family's new slogan is "a different type of family," so all pretense is gone. About all that's left from the old days of Pat Robertson's ownership is The 700 Club.

Here are details on some of the other shows I mentioned:

  • Rambo & Hooker is a Western; it would be the first on a major TV network in quite a while. The "stars" are real people; see the links below.
  • Bellinger Island has a cast almost entirely comprised of African-Americans. The last such show was City of Angels (1990).
  • Fort McDaniel is a drama set at a military base.
  • Young Blood features a teenage detective. Basis was a wrong answer on You Don't Know Jack.

Most of the affiliates of Rebel would match those of MyNetworkTV, which Fox launched after the CW rejected their co-owned UPN affiliates in the top three U.S. media markets.

I gave an "affiliates" list on sandbox1 briefly, but I made one omission: WRBL (DT2) in Columbus, Georgia, owned by Media General.

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#9. Boogerberger twins

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"Boogerberger" is a made-up last name that has been in my head for a long time. It is alliterative and fun to say. And the girls carrying the name would be fun to look at too!

Then again, maybe it's not made up. Take a look at the photographer's name on this web page: [1]

All of the clothes, and the hairstyle, mentioned in the article are based on YDKJ wrong answers. Laura and Heather were the names of two contestants on the Let's Make a Deal portion of Gameshow Marathon; they were the only two non-celebrities to win prizes during the weeklong series.

#8. TV Café

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The premise is a simple one: even with TiVo, VCRs and other recording devices, it is simply not possible to watch all the primetime shows on American television. This show would help them out.

The noon start nearly matches that of the online talk shows that have spun off from Survivor and Big Brother; both of those are on CBS.com at 1 pm Eastern time the day after those shows air. Noon is also the time that regular programming began on the original PAX TV (which later became i, and then Rebel) when it launched in 1998. (Infomercials aired in the morning.)

Also, clip shows on TV are not unprecedented. Talk Soup airs on E!, although it draws mostly on daytime programs, and Sunday Best was a clip show of NBC comedies that aired around 1990.

I think that Debi Derryberry and Tress MacNeille would have a great chemistry on the show. Both know each other from the animated television industry.

One final note: Although shows on Rebel would probably be placed first on each show, I would trust that the hosts and guests would be objective in reviewing each show. After all, Fox News Channel once had a journalistic watchdog, Eric Burns, and he was sometime hard on his own network's coverage of events sometimes.

#7. Barney

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Lots of hooks here:

Aside: all four of my Thursday night Rebel sitcoms made the top 40. Must See TV indeed!

#6. Mimi Pee-Pee dolls

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First, an apology. Originally, the item that appeared at number six was a video game called Kill All Celebs. The game involved the fantasy violence of the "killing" of Hollywood stars and other famous people.

As was once said of Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder, I "babbled but did not think." Because I didn't plan the countdown on paper well enough, I thought that I had run out of good material. Instead, I picked something that--while some people wish it would happen--it would actually do more harm than good in the end. Threatening anyone is not really a dream, and I am sorry for posting it to the sandbox. Then again, it's the sandbox, so there's no effect on the encyclopedia itself. "No harm, no foul, no blood, no ambulance."--Chick Hearn

So it's on to "Mimi Pee-Pee," the next step beyond Betsy Wetsy. In fact, the former was a wrong answer on the You Don't Know Jack television show, which aired in the summer of 2000, it flashed on the screen just before the latter, the correct answer, did.

As for MacBigney, it's from a real woman named Greta MacBigney.

#5. Bubba Brister

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This is a complicated story with several parts.

The first part dates back to 1998, when Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway was injured and Bubby Brister filled in as starting quarterback. I saw Brister and the Broncos take on the Oakland Raiders. For some reason, I was inspired to write "Bubba Brister" down on a nearby computer screen. I guess I secretly wished that Brister had spelled his nickname that way instead. (Please note the page redirect also; I asked for that one.)

Later, I did an Internet search for any of his possible namesakes. At first, all the "hits" consisted of Bubby's nickname misspelled (including one at ESPN.com). Eventually, a listing came up for the Bubba Brister Band, and I made a hard-copy of the page, which I still have.

So I can report that Adam "Bubba" Brister is a real person. In fact, all of the "early life" section is Adam Brister's real story. Since 2002 or so, the real story has been lost and two websites at which I followed his career no longer exist. Maybe Adam Brister has found his career at a dead-end job at Wal-Mart.:(

Then again, Brister showed potential mixing various music genres. If he had gone through with it, there is a chance that he would have been the next major music star, since country and Christian are two of the best-selling genres in American music. It also would have helped if he succeeded on American Idol, and at 22, he is still eligible for the show.

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#4. My Ideal World

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This is the kind of show that I wish were on television more than any other show. It's a variety show that appeals to all age groups, ethnic backgrounds, and both genders. This is the kind of program that families gathered around the radio or TV set from the 1930s to the late-1960s.

It would be a daunting but rewarding task for the host, who would treat it as a labor of love. My Ideal World is also an archetypical example of "creative control."

Barefoot would have chosen Sunday night for the program because it is the most-watched night on American TV. But the competition would have been formidable: NBC Sunday Night Football, Desperate Housewives, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and The Amazing Race among other shows.

#3. Brittany Spears (character)

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This is the definition of wishful thinking. We all know that, realistically, Spears will never change the spelling of her first name, let alone anything else about her.

But we can all dream, can we?

Spears' real story is summed up this way: small-town girl from Louisiana makes it big, but loses sight of her roots along the way, except for on her second wedding day and in outtakes of her reality TV show as leaked to YouTube. Wouldn't we love to see the wholesome, humble farm girl in her come out?

In a way, this is the opposite of Sons of Bytches, who play cutting-edge rock music but who look like the boys next door.

In a side note, there are a few actual people named Brittany Spears:

Another Brittany Spears is a former cheerleader for the Seattle SuperSonics (NBA).

See also

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For a concept near the top of the rankings, I needed something pretty special. Why not an act that promises to revolutionize the entire industry?

On the main page, I gave you the brief rundown on the first four decades of pop music. Since then, it's been a hodgepodge, consisting of hip-hop music here, rock music there, and some country thrown in. No one performer or style has defined the last 15 years or so. Of course, the industry has changed as well. Downloading has replaced record-buying, and hundreds of record stores have shut down. (Tower Records is the latest, planning to close every store soon.)

Why not have "Blinky Blink" save the soul of the music industry?

Also, there's a local angle. He's from southern California, and so am I. I was on a debate team, just as Blink was. He listened to a lot of dance pop music, as I did in the early 1990s. He stepped away from music as soon as it got bad; so did I. Any music I listen to now comes mainly from commercials. I have never even listened to "Sexyback," believe it or not!

As for the stage name: COOLEST EVER! Unfortunately, it's been taken, but I can always dream.

#1. Buddy Wayne Barefoot

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Everyone who knows about my online life knows that this was inevitable.

It was born when I looked up names in a CD-ROM phone book. I have this fascination with people's names that I just can't explain. Bill Fleischmann, a writer from Philadelphia, fed my obsession in a 1984 article in Inside Sports magazine, and it's just gotten worse from there. I actually got my parents to give me the phone book for Christmas, and I saw this name:

Buddy Wayne Barefoot
1098 Shadetree Rd
Benson, NC 27504
919-894-8592

That was like the Fourth of July going off in my head. From that point on, I had to do something with him!

When I created the Baldridge Island website in the late 1990s, I had to include an auto racing organization and a country music nightclub, despite the apparent fact that they were out of place in an urban environment. They were made just for Buddy.

By 2003, he was offline but still in my head. I wanted to print out a bio of him for his own personal use, but my home computer printer was down, and I had to use the office printer from where I worked at the time. Jackie Bueno (now Wingo), a co-worker, saw the bio and wanted me to spread the character to more people. I then submitted another form of his bio to Jo Ann Hlavac, of Charleston, SC-based NASCAR fan website Laidback Racing. I wrote several "race reviews," in the first person, for that site. Eventually, I found out about Webspawner, which hosts personal and business websites. In August 2003, B.W.'s story moved there, and it's been there ever since.

And if that's not enough, it was a real Wikipedia page–twice! The first time was on April 30, 2006 and the second time was on May 28, 2006. I used those as sandbox pages due to the lack of WYSIWYG in printouts of Wikipedia pages. I erased the pages as soon as I could, knowing that they would not stay due to the lack of verifiability (if I recall, one user all but threatened to remove me as a repeat vandal, though I could be wrong). That's when I started using the general sandbox, then my own from the user pages.

How do I explain a crush on a fictional character that only I and a few other people know about? Start with the name. "Buddy Wayne Barefoot?" If that's not the ultimate American rural name, I don't know what is. You can imagine him in a pickup truck, with a beer in one hand and a blonde in another. Then there's his versatility. Many athletes and entertainers have crossed into each other's worlds, but not with such talent that can succeed in both. Finally, there's social significance. If Barefoot actually existed, and could do all these things, he could galvanize an entire way of life and unify his people, a "Pied Piper of Dixie." His love of rural America and concern for its future would connect to liberals, and his defense of freedom, justice, and family values would click with conservatives. Not since Ronald Reagan would there be a person like him in public life. And, as American students know (or should), Reagan won his presidential elections in such a convincing fashion that no one needed to count the chads.(LOL)

As for the real Barefoot, unfortunately we don't know what happened to him. In 2003, he stopped showing up in the online phone directories I use. Did Barefoot move and take an unlisted number? Is he now known only by initials? Did he die? If he has unfortunately passed away, I have definitely secured his legacy.

There you have it. As Buddy Wayne would say, "That's my ideal world. What's yours?"

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Let me know!

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If you seen the sandbox page and would like to comment on anything I've written, please use the space below.

I am making a special "call-out" to Yomangani, who has suggested some improvements to this page, and to Opabinia Regalis, who suggested that I open the sandboxes you're looking at now.

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