FeministGeekOBE

Hey there! Who is it? I like your name!nnhn --Vincentunpack (talk) 13:36, 2 October 2013 (UTC)

Comment from Kazushige Kobayashi

Obe, great work!

● "Influenced by this work, by the late 1970s, some people working in the field of development stated to question the adequacy of focusing on women in isolation.[5] -Here, "some people" seems too generic; maybe you can identify if they are scholars, practitioners, or development agencies who began to pose such questions.

● "In an attempt to create ‘gender equity’ also referred to as gender equality, (denoting women having same opportunities as men, including ability to participate in the public sphere;[14] -Probably, distinction between equity and equality should be more clearly argued here since I do not think these two concepts are completely identical.

● "GAD policies challenge traditional construction of gender role expectations." here the world "challenge" seems to me too strong, it a bit sounds like GAD primarily intends to overthrow the existing social institutions (although I know that this is not what you mean). May be you can say like GAD policies aim to open new horizon for traditional construction of gender role expectations, this sounds less revolutionary.

● "Criticisms" I think you plan to cite more of criticisms in the near future since this is just draft? Theories and criticisms do not need to be completely balanced (400 words/400 words), but I think a better balance should be sought (but do not delete what you have written, they are good and I don't think you should cut any part).