Your draft

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I returned your draft to your sandbox because it isn't ready for mainspace.

Your article should start with a lead section that summarizes all the major points of the article. It should generally open with something like Article title is... and go on to succinctly say what the topic is in the opening sentence.

The remainder of the lead needs to summarize all the major points of the article, in proportion to the way they're covered in the body of the article. Nothing should be in the lead that's not discussed in more depth in the article body. You should take a look at pages 7-9 of the "Editing Wikipedia" brochure (that I've linked to here) to get a better sense of what an article should look like.

Overall, your tone doesn't match the tone of a Wikipedia article. I recommend that you spend some time reading other biographies to get a sense of what a Wikipedia article should "sound" like. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 04:52, 23 November 2024 (UTC)Reply