User talk:GerardoMilano/sandbox

Latest comment: 7 years ago by 76.19.130.9

Hi Gerardo, this is Abdullah commenting on your proposed additions to the Six Sigma article as your peer reviewer.

I think your strong point is organization. Your sections are broken up very concisely, and it is very easy to navigate the portions that you are interested in adding. I do think that you could stand to clarify the language under the first heading "application," though. I know what the application of Six Sigma is already, so I can easily understand what you're getting at, but it might be a bit less confusing if you removed the references to the big names in the industry, as they don't really serve the purpose of giving a high-level overview. You could probably incorporate them later if you think that it is really important to mention their names and why they are important. Aside from that, I think the only other issue you have is that your "Finance" section could use another citation to prove your point about Bank of America. There's only one piece of information supporting that paragraph currently, and it might be better if you had an alternative which was a popular source pointing to info about how six sigma helped BofA and Amex. You have a lot of really strong content over all, though, and I think it's going to add a lot of value to the six sigma page once you finish drafting everything and get ready to start incorporating it. 76.19.130.9 (talk) 22:50, 31 October 2017 (UTC)Reply