Haileywriter
| This user is a student editor in California_State_University_Sacramento/ENVS_10H_(Spring_2019) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Haileywriter, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:41, 12 February 2019 (UTC)
Peer Review - Ethan Fiorini
editHi Hailey,
I was assigned to review your article on the basis of lead section, structure, balance, neutrality, and reliability of sources.
Firstly, the lead section. It is clear to me what this article is about, Artificial intelligence in the Heavy Industry. From what it looks like you would be creating the article from scratch as you are filling in a content gap in the "artificial intelligence in..." category of Wikipedia. I would suggest either defining heavy industry in your lead section or linking it to the "heavy industry" page of Wikipedia in your lead section. Also given that not much is written on your article in your sandbox on your lead section and following sections, this is fine because you have a clear outline of what you want to write and putting the information in your own words is the next but harder step.
Next, the structure of the article. The structure makes logical sense after the lead section where you: plan to do a section on the history, then potential benefits with subsections, then potential negatives, and wrapping up with Affect of AI in the manufacturing industry. The structure is clear and easy to follow.
Next, the balance of the article. The balance is good basing it off the structure of the article because there is not much written down yet. However I would suggest adding subheadings to the potential negatives section in order to keep a more balanced article.
The Neutrality of content in the article is difficult to determine due to not much being written down. However basing off the sections in the article, it seem fair to address the positives and negatives of AI in heavy industry which helps neutrality. It is important to note that equal amounts of attention should be given to these two, and to be cautious of when your language may become more persuasive than informative.
Finally the sources. While there are some sources, I would recommend finding even more sources as they will help in credibility and collecting information, which later you may put in your own words. Sticking with sites with.edu .gov and .org are safe bets for source material. Also textbooks could be a good spring board to finding more information and sources. Even searches on the Sac State library website for books relating to AI would be helpful in gathering information and potential sources.
Overall The article is looking good! Given the limited writing, you do have strong structure and sectioning! Also I find the hardest part of this project is putting all the information you have in your own words and getting them down in your sandbox, and I think many other students are in a similar spot. It is good you have a strong structure, from which you can formulate the article however you'd like, just don't forget to find some more sources, keep it up!
EthanFio (talk) 05:34, 28 March 2019 (UTC)
Hailywiter, thank you so much for your feedback! :) You are right, I need to expand on all the sections. Your feedback was very informative and helpful. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Brunette2k16 (talk • contribs) 19:16, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
Instructor Feedback
editYou've done a lot to create the new article Artificial intelligence in heavy industry, nice work! Here are some suggestions to make sure you get a good grade:
1. There needs to be a connection to the environment. Can you find sources and add a section that applies AI to minimizing environmental impacts, or even as a secondary motive? Are there other AI applications in environmental fields or reactions from the environmental community?
2. You need to provide more links to other wikipedia articles on the topics you cover, e.g. Artificial Intelligence. Do the training on linking and go through all your text to provide links.
--Julianfulton (talk) 20:29, 19 April 2019 (UTC)