User talk:Hera vc/sandbox

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Vellichor

References look good. Sentences are well written. Need a few sentences on your proposed plan for improving the article.

My only suggestion is that this sentence:

"Although most prevalent in individuals of Scandinavian origin, there have also been identified cases in people of Japanese and Indian descent."

is worded a little bit awkwardly - perhaps try shuffling it around a bit to read something like:

"Although most prevalent in individuals of Scandinavian origin, cases have also been identified in people of Japanese and Indian descent."

Great start!

Vellichor (talk) 07:11, 5 November 2015 (UTC)Reply