Hrode55555
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editHello, Hrode55555, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 03:58, 23 February 2017 (UTC)
Overconsumption
editThe article about overconsumption is a poorly put together Wikipedia cite that needs some revision to be able to become a well-written article. The lead heading in the article is very broad and a little bit confusing with a lack of where they got their information. The first citation was at the end of the first paragraph, however they seemed to have retrieved that information that was written in 2008 and a lot has changed since then. The information was retrieved from a reliable source, which was a professor of geography at the University of California. I do see how there could be some bias opinions in the original source that could lead to some confusion for Wikipedia article. The second paragraph of the lead heading is lacking a reference source that would help the paragraph be less confusing towards the reader. It is also unclear of the writer is stating a fact or if it is just an opinion. The second heading has very little information and does not explain why when stating the effects of overconsumption. They need to go into a lot more detail and I believe that there are more effects they could have stated that would have made the article more powerful. They are missing citations and need to go into more depth. The information that they did source was from 2011, which was also a long time ago and need to note that a lot has changed. The third heading does not have a lot of information and should go into more depth. When clicking on the citation and going to the website the page could not be found, which could be because it was from so long ago. It is hard to see how accurate the paragraph is because of the citation and there is no back up evidence that explains their claim. The third heading makes it easy to understand however I think they could add more information about how as individuals have footprints on our planet. I think it is important to explain how we can help our planet as individuals and not just blame it on the bigger picture, which is what I am getting out of this paragraph. The last heading in my opinion is very bias when they state “the most obvious solution” I think they should go back and leave that out of the sentence. There are many solutions for overconsumptions and the article isn’t really covering a lot of them. I think this article was hard to read because even though they were all under the same subject it was hard to follow how each heading corresponded with each other. (Hrode55555 (talk) 01:41, 7 March 2017 (UTC))