Irishbitte

Hi. Welcome. I'm sorry your first article, Karoshi Linux, has mostly been deleted. It was too much like an advert to meet wikipedia conventions. It certainly could be re-written though, and I hope you'll try to do that.

I'll paste in some general tips below, that I hope will help. I also suggest you read WP:NPOV and WP:ADVERT.

Good luck,

--  Chzz  ►  04:41, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Welcome

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Wow, someone's been busy...hope you don't suffer from 過労死 yourself :-)

Looks good. I've made a couple of edits; please check the comments with them for reasoning.

Couple of thoughts;

In features, I don't understand 'coz if it's a live CD distro, there wouldn't be an install, surely? Also confused that that 1st para is really about installation which isn't really a feature.

Sorry had to remove the links to the sw sites, but that's not what WP does. There's articles on them, and users can follow through them to the external sites. External linkage is only used to support facts and give a main site for the topic.

Looks like there's no wiki page for WPKG at present; you could think about making one, maybe.

General comment, I think the article could be made clearer, bearing in mind the likely audience of non-techies - explaining the package in terms of capability more than technical functionality. I certainly think the stuff about PDCs, SAMBA etc should be in the article, but I think it'd be better overall if it said more about the capabilities of the system, specifically within a school env.

Just my 10p worth,

--  Chzz  ►  04:00, 26 February 2009 (UTC)