User talk:Jaybickchick/sandbox

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jaybickchick

Engineering students go to school to be trained to make intelligent decisions and also be able to interact with people from technical and nontechnical disciplines at the national and international levels. this sentence needs some because it doesn't make much sense, it leads up to a verb but there's nothing Engineers Without Borders has created a way to train engineering students in these skills. '(what skills?) One example of this model is there a name for this model? of work is an Engineering in Developing Countries (EDC) program at the University of Colorado at Boulder which was tested with a group of students. The program had both engineering and non-engineering disciplines and addressed a wide range of issues in the world such as water provisioning maybe link to water supply, food production, health, or and shelter. Most this assumes a majority but thats technically bias, I'd use a different word! the literature claims that engineering professions should focus on creating a sustainable world for everyone in the world around them. (Amadei).

Wood Science

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There 'is an increasing rate of cases where students create protoypes by using naturale ...rest of sentence are many examples of students creating a sustainable world by using natural and plentiful resources including wood, mud, and the land itself. Wood Science hyperlink? is extremely important in today’s society, which rarely biased word is accredited in the scientific world. In order to encourage wood science students to use their skills to solve problems, a program called “Wood Scientists without Borders” which is modeled after the program “Engineers Without Borders” was created. (Shupe) A pilot program called "Wood Scientists Without Borders was established in _(year)_, it's aim is to encourage more engineering students to *shitty word* go towards wood science.

Mud Brick Construction

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The advantages of Mud Brick Constructions consist of Cost Savings, Thermal Mass, Eco friendliness, self satisfaction, and aesthetics. moved this here, its a great intro sentence, but explain what mud brick construction is! Mud bricks have become a process and method for Engineering students to help build and rebuild communities that have been destroyed by natural or manmade disasters. (Sheweka). moved this upstairs In 2009 it was found that using mud bricks to rebuild houses that were destroyed in various ways whether through ecological degradation, natural disasters, etc. what are some ways? , was a cheap and efficient way to complete this project. what project? wood science w/o engineers? can you elaborate on the case study? etc. who, what when where how? that'd be an awesome example! Today 30% of the world’s present population live in earthen structures. add a citation, but good! Director of Engineering Service Corps of the USA – Engineers Without Borders, El-Omari At the US Fed News Service, El-Omari presented a what kind of project to the United Nations. where Engineers without Borders would use the area behind the living areas of refugees to dig wells and bring water to the Ein Sultan Refugee camp.(El-omari). turn this into a sentence. Engineers Without Borders prides itself in bridging the gap between the learning environment in schools and the “real” world problems that are found in communities across the world. (Hartman)


Everything in bold is my suggestion to you or a minor edit/substitute/grammar thing-thingggg good article though!!

Reflection on Edits:

While editing this I was able to take into account all the feedback I had received. First the feedback from Shalor helped me adjust my sentences to work with the page I decided to put it on. After doing this adjustment, I was able to take into account the feedback from Professor Haenn. This was adjusting the quality of writing and the flow of the sentences so that the paragraph was built in a way that was easy to understand. After all of these edits, the peer editing came in handy. There were small edits by my classmates that I took into account. There were also some edits that I didn't use, such as splitting my paragraph into different sections. I chose not to do this, because I believed the examples were not full enough to be their own paragraph. Finally I went through everything one last time and did any last minute adjustments based on everybody's thoughts and opinions. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jaybickchick (talkcontribs) 17:42, 28 November 2017 (UTC)Reply