User talk:Jctheartist/sandbox

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Allierose17 in topic Allie's Peer Review

Allie's Peer Review

edit

The lead sections for the paragraphs are easy to understand, I feel satisfied that I know the importance of the topics in each section. They do reflect important information because each paragraph states what the topics are used for (barbells and the bench press). As far as clear structure, I think there are a few things that can be improved. There are several concepts throughout the paragraphs that are repeated multiple times (such as Olympic weight lifting), I would suggest tying all those sentences that are focused on the same concept into one section to clear up the structures of the paragraphs. That way instead of having all that similar information spread across the paragraphs, it will all be in the same section and make the paragraph structures more clear. The paragraphs have balanced coverage, the length of each paragraph is well done and they both seem to have the same amount of information. I would suggest possibly adding conclusions or wrap-up sentences to the end of each paragraph to show you're done speaking of that topic or adding how the information relates to the theme of your project. The paragraphs have nice neutral content, they are not one-sided, they are strictly informative which is good. I took a look at each source provided and they look great, they all seem to be scholarly research journals. The last thing I will add that needs improvement is the sentence structure in both paragraphs, punctuation, capitalization and spelling all need to be reviewed. I believe both paragraphs are nicely done and provide a range of important information. Allierose17 (talk) 23:15, 23 May 2019 (UTC)Reply