User talk:Jessicahnguyen 29/sandbox

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Kerenefernandez in topic Peer Review by Keren Fernandez

Peer Review by Autumn Hampton

edit

Overall you did a wonderful job! I only have a few recommendations to makes. The first is a simple tip I find helpful with editing papers. Read them out loud to pick up on any mistakes there may be with grammar or syntax. Every paragraph should have at least one citation in it according to our tutorials. You have about 5 paragraphs that will need a citation. The tone is neutral. You are not taking anyone's side. Your sources seem neutral themselves and are a legit place of unbiased information. Aut hampton (talk) 03:28, 19 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review by Keren Fernandez

edit

Really good job on your article and how you explain the different topics. You have a clear structure on what you are talking about and you don't jump from one place to another which is achieving your smooth transitions. You have balanced coverage and talk about each section in the appropriate amount based on its importance. Super neutral and interesting facts. Your sources are reliable but I would say for the section titled "People and Culture" paragraph 2 and 3 try to find citations (or if you already have the citation but its elsewhere) and cite them in those two paragraphs to back up those facts on cultural practices and food of the yoruba people. Also, a citation in the section titled "Today's Society" would be useful and helpful to a reader to learn more of the yoruba people taking in part of another religion in addition to the yoruba religion. Some other quick fixes are grammatical, first paragraph of "People and Culture" you can fix the "They" of the last sentence to lower case "they". In addition to that fix there is another fix you could add which is in the second paragraph of "People and Culture" where "nuts" is shown twice, one after the other. You also don't need the reference section at the bottom because once you cite with wikipedia, it will make a reference box for you. Other than these fixes, great article improvement! Kerenefernandez (talk) 19:09, 19 October 2018 (UTC)Reply