User talk:Jessicasener/sandbox

Good work, Jessica, paying attention to citation and Wikipedia's rules about plagiarism. You also do a good job looking at the talk page and the debate over "critical acclaim." Jlbrandt (talk) 21:42, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

Jessica's Peer Review

Jess,

Your edits look great so far! Our women are very similar in occupation and achievements, so your article has been very interesting and educational to review. I think we can really help each other with formatting and content along the way.

First, I love the organization of the activism section. The subheadings make it really clear for your reader to navigate its content. I'd love to see you incorporate the same organization in the "writing career" and "Personal life" sections since larger bodies of continuous text can be intimidating and difficult to maneuver.

In the intro, you've included "short story writer" in Alice's title. This really threw me off. I think you should maybe just keep it as "novelist and poet" since writing short stories fits somewhere under novelist. Overall, there's not much to correct grammatically.

The early life section is very long and drawn out. A lot of the information is basically extensive "fun facts" that are kind of irrelevant towards learning about Alice's achievements. Its length also counter acts the idea of Wikipedia being a quick, concise source for information. If you don't want to get rid of any content, adding subheadings will help break it up and organize it.

Upon looking back at the original page, I noticed you did not include the "Criticism of political views and action" section. I understand why, since this section shows some bias against Alice's decision to not translate The Color Purple, but are you going to discard it altogether? I think there is great information in that section that you could use without including some of the bias. I would definitely recommend researching into that dispute a bit further and seeing what you can find/ include/ revise.

I can't wait to see your final product. I've definitely gained some ideas from reviewing your edits so please feel free to check out mine.

Angelicastabile (talk) 22:36, 26 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review Two

• I noticed in the main page it notes some of her awards as a writer which I thought added to the article.
• Can you get more descriptive on what type of activism she was a part of in the introduction (more specific) (ex: like social justice for women) (nothing long just a word or two).
• When was Walker initially injured?
• Feels like a list of her life that seems more cold then actually making her seem more human. (ex: voted prom queen – but why does that matter? – how did it better her life?)
• Can you list/find any of the achievements that she got at her college?
• Maybe list a big thing mentors did (both fought for women’s right. Makes it easier to see why it matters, and easier to gain quick information.)
• Why was she in East Africa?
• Might be to opinionated to have that the professor enjoyed the poems. Any other way to describe this?
• Do you mean “for” the civil rights movement. In sounds clunky.
• Were the looking for Zora Neale Hurston’s grave before this?
• Love the description of the book The Third Life of Grange Copeland, give a nice background. Maybe do for Once.
• Why moved to Northern California? Helpful to know why she was traveling.
• “Her godmother is Alice Walker's mentor and co-founder of Ms. Magazine, Gloria Steinem.” This sentence could be reworded to be more easily understood. It’s a little clunky.
• May want to as subheadings within Early Life.
• Maybe try to add the third wave of feminism to the first sentence about Rebecca since it was her most important. Most important to least important seems like a good order
• Is colored feminist an okay term to use?
• Did she visit Gaza again or not?
• Might think of a word other than flotilla (good word) but some people may not get it.
• Might be a good idea to say Walker then instead of her under David Icke.
• LGBTQ section feels empty. Can you find more information to make it substantial?
• Should personal life be up with Early Life?
• When she had a relationship with Chapman was she still married?
• Might think of a headed for spirituality.
• Citation for quote “At one point I learned…a part of everything”
• What is her second book of poetry called.

Devon Cosgrove (talk) 12:11, 28 March 2018 (UTC)