Jordanblocker

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Your try for improvement Lolita Fashion: Confusions

Dear Jordanblocker,

I reviewing your edit, because it was a nice try.

--Sorrow of Sophie (talk) 10:14, 15 October 2018 (UTC)

Edit Aspects

Case 1: Replace physical relationship with depiction of the sexual relationship ...

The problem is physical relationship can be interpreted as a relationship which flows from romantic to sexual.

A depiction of the sexual relationship, is directly using sexual as explicit term and is read as louder. The adverb depiction make it stronger.

Case 2.1: Popular culture instead of book

Popular culture is a term used as generalisation of culture and generic holistic word to describe; 'This' is important for me culture. However popular culture in Japan does not have to be the same as the culture in China or any other country. By limiting the scope the term can be approached from a material point of view; culture goods instead of an holistic perspective.

Case 2.2: sexually precocious vs. negative connotation

By using sexually precocious, the pressure is placed on a normal sexual development. But the point the writer wanted to make is that the meaning of the words became negative while it has from the point it was born not a negative connotation.

Case 3: Replace unacceptable with illicit

The problem is unacceptable is in linguistic sense not accepted now. (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/unacceptable)

Illicit is containing an already negative tone, which make it more biased, in addition illicit is more used in lawful terms. (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/illicit)

Case 4: Replace originate with spread

This case I will review, for now this edit is assumed to be good.

You are right it can be assumed it originate in "the world science fiction" [Lotecki, Ashley, "Cosplay Culture: The Development of Interactive and Living Art through Play" (2012). Theses and dissertations. Paper 806.]. But the popularisation is possible because anime was also spread. I think their is a difference between Japanese Cosplay and American cosplay, because mainly the cosplay represent the cultural goods of their own. But because of the diffusion now. The (media)of the culture is mixed. In the article's context the spread referred to kawaii cosplay which refer to a look like lolita outfit. In this context American cosplay is not relevant, maybe as historical fact, but not as justifying of the confusion of the association of the outfit.

So spread is good, it does justify the historical context and does not impact the message the sentence wants to convey.

--Sorrow of Sophie (talk) 11:05, 15 October 2018 (UTC)

Grammar edit reverted

Hello, Jordanblocker, Your recent edit to Nevertheless, she persisted has been reverted to preserve the simpler sentence structure, using the infinitive form of the verb refer. Thanks for your editing work. Cheers! — Grand'mere Eugene (talk) 20:06, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

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