 | This user is a member of the Environmental Record Task Force. |
Good work on your edits, Kazoozoo! A few of your grammatical edits need further attention--for instance, the joystick sentences on the Frogger page could be more concise, and the word choice ("attained" vs. "accessed") on the Spyro the Dragon needs further thought. Mcwabaunsee 21:53, 18 October 2007 (UTC)
Congratulations on your contributions to the Exxon page, too. However, there seems much more to say regarding that corporation and its environmental record. Perhaps there are further subsections you could compose for this page? Mcwabaunsee 21:57, 18 October 2007 (UTC)
Great stuff in your sandbox, Kazoozoo! Eloquent and informative. Probably better to provide the starting date for Mantech, than to say how many years it's been in operation (since that number will change regularly).Mcwabaunsee 21:42, 1 November 2007 (UTC)
BT
editYour environmental section is articulate. However, the purpose of these task forces is to provide objective information. This sounds too much like a company brochure. Mcwabaunsee 23:24, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
George W. Bush Presidency
editThis environmental section is a good start, but needs to be expanded significantly. Mcwabaunsee 23:24, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
Wal-Mart
editThis section is also well written, and also needs to be expanded. Note the ways in which sentence structure can manipulate the reader's interpretation. Mcwabaunsee 23:24, 15 November 2007 (UTC)