User talk:Kkirkham/sandbox

Introduction

While all the material in the intro is useful, some of it probably belongs in the body of the article rather than the lede. Specifically, the content about the four generations of J. W. Luters should probably appear in the "History and brands" section, with a single sentence summary in the intro. Similarly, the extensive information about the Smithfield's acquisition of other companies should be covered mainly in "History and brands", with a very short summary up top. It's often best to write the introduction after the body of the article is essentially complete, since the intro itself should be a brief summary of each section in the body. On the bright side, the overall quality of your writing is very high and it's a pleasure to work with such a literate contributor. Happy editing, Doc Tropics 17:48, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for reading. I'm happy to remove some of the material you suggested, but I wanted to point out that most of that information is already included in the existing intro, which is why I left it. I agree with you though, that it fits best under a history section. I'm fine waiting to edit most of the intro information until after the rest of the article is done, if you think that is a better approach. I just thought to start here since this is non-controversial information that could be easily agreed upon by all parties. Kkirkham (talk) 21:41, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

I took out the information you suggested, hopefully making the section short, sweet, and to point. We can revisit this once we have some consensus about the rest of the article, but this could be something to use as a jumping off point as an intro. Kkirkham (talk) 16:28, 13 September 2012 (UTC)

That seems better for now, and it should indeed be revisited and expanded once the content issues have been resolved. Please note that TFD (talk) made an excellent suggestion regarding sources on my talkpage here. Since we now have more participation on the article's talkpage it would probably be best to focus efforts on the discussion there. I've left an opening for you to either suggest a starting point, or go with my point about Tietz to get the ball rolling. Doc Tropics 20:03, 13 September 2012 (UTC)