User talk:Kuponya/sandbox
Group Feedback from Osquaesitor:
General: - As you know, part of this draft required that you make plans for the images you wanted to use. You do a great job of thinking about the images you may want to contribute. Also, complete or go back to the student training and you can also go here for a very comprehensive how-to and resources on contributing to Wikimedia. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Contents -Be careful when using the Linnean nomenclature: Amphiuma tridactylum versus the common term: amphiuma. Know when to use the italics and when not to. -Take a look at the general family page as well: [[1]] as you consider where to edit/add content. You may be able to do some copy-editing of these pages so that they are more informative and less overlapping. -Your in-text citations are all great, but start creating content links to other Wikipedia pages. Good pages do this to integrate content and define terms. -Some section headings along with author names would make the page a bit easier to navigate and would help readers understand a bit more easily who is doing what section.
Specific section comments: Sexual Dimorphism: It is fine to focus on this topic even if you cannot show a male and a female side by side. You may be able to find a creative commons image or to dig up an article that is over 70yrs old that has a skull image, or you may be able to quickly use my lab set up to clean up your amphiuma skull after your dissection. Try this and see what happens: Go to google scholar and do a series of searches on amphiuma skull, cranium, skeleton, etc. Set the search period parameters so that the articles it returns are no later than 1940 (70 yrs is the benchmark so that gives you an 8-year safety margin for copyright. You never know what kind of hit you are going to get.
Feeding: See my comments above about getting a picture of the skull (either your own or from an older text). Dissecting the muscles and then cleaning the skull might be optimal for both of you working on the jaw and the diet.
Osquaesitor (talk) 23:15, 1 April 2018 (UTC)
PEER REVIEWS:
Draft 1: Sexual Dimorphism: Regarding grammatical flow of the sentences, the second sentence uses "which" twice, making it sound redundant. Otherwise well structured. Draft 2: Sexual Dimorphism of lungs: Good information and sources! The information discrepancy is something to be aware of, perhaps posing a question on the Salamander talk page would help sort some of the confusion. For the lungs vs. skin respiration, do these mechanism occur simultaneously or is there a specific stage in the life cycle that features one above the other? Additionally, an expansion on body expansion and compression would be helpful, explaining what the expansion/compression entails. Draft 3: Jaws: Good structure, flow, and information! Specifying more obviously which method is strike and which is stationary would help keeping the mechanisms clearly separate. Draft 4: Food Habits: Consider rewording the last two sentences, as they are somewhat difficult to follow and there seem to be wording mistakes. As far as content goes, do the sources specify further the implications of the animals eaten beyond crawfish not returning the amount of energy expended? How else do different environments affect the food habits? Are there any special feeding mechanics unique to amphiuma? (<- this could be worked together with the jaws) Overall good draft! The information presented seems to be supplementary and easy to understand. Apairofwoolsocks (talk) 00:26, 23 March 2018 (UTC)
Draft 1 The second sentence of this draft is repetitive due to using have and which multiple times. Switching up word choice will allow for the sentence to be a lot smoother. The sources used seem pretty reliable. The general plan seems very solid I understand what you are playing to do and have no confusion after reviewing the explanation you provided. Draft 2 This was really good. It cool you found this discrepancy maybe you could clear it up when you make your actual edit. Like Apairofwoolsocks said above it would be a good idea to talk about this on the talk page of the salamander page. It was kind of hard to figure out what plan was yours due to where it was place but once I found it I was able to figure out what your playing to do. Draft 3 As discussed in your draft the jaw contributes to sexual dimorphism which is a topic that another group member is doing. Maybe you two could work together on this topic. over all this was well written and easy to follow. Draft 4 your information was confusing. One of your sources sates that amphiuma go after crawfish out of preference. But then you go on to state that they do this because catching crawfish allows them to expend less energy. I could just be confused due to wording. ReallyCaffeinated (talk) 02:57, 23 March 2018 (UTC)ReallyCaffeinated
Peer review
editDraft 1: This is a great draft and the information included was easily understood, detailed, and well organized. The resources used for this draft also seem very reliable. The only thing that could be improved was simplifying/rewording some of the sentences.
Copy edit of draft 1:
- Amphiumas demonstrate sexual dimorphism in relation to the size of its body and the size of its head. Generally, males have been found to have larger bodies and longer heads in comparison to females, which is normally indicative of male-male combat observed within the population; however, there have been no other physical indicating factors for male-male combat seen in other species of Amphibia, such as horns or spines. Some populations do not show these sexual dimorphic traits; and in certain locations, female and male bodies do not exhibit any traits with significant differences.
Draft 2: This draft is also very detailed and well organized. Even though there was a lot of information covered in this draft, it was easy to read through because the information was explained concisely. I also think the plans for the types of images that will be added are great. Only minor changes could be made to improve the sentence structure of this draft.
Copy edit of draft 2:
- Amphiuma possess ancestral forms of limbs compared to some of the other groups of salamanders that live terrestrially today. Their lungs are long organs, extending over half its body length, and have dense capillary networks and a large surface area that suggest the utilization of the entire lung for respiration while the amphiuma is in water or on land. Although it is common for amphibia to respire out of their skin, it was found that amphiuma primarily respirate through their lungs, despite their aquatic lifestyle. This is found by the high lung to respiratory capillary density compared to the relatively low skin to respiratory capillary density.
- The lung of an amphiuma was found to work through a two-cycle pressure-induced buccal/nares process. This indicates that amphiuma go through one full cycle of body expansion and compression in order to inhale, followed by another full cycle to exhale, which is a unique process that utilizes both the buccal cavity and their nares. The pressure that activates the cycles of expansion and compression involve a rise in pressure within the lung to assist the buccal pressure to increase; however, it was found that the buccal pressure gradient was not enough to drive respiration in the amphiuma tridactylum.
Draft 3: This draft has great information to include and is from credible sources. I also agree with the comments made by the author of this draft in that the section about the size of the jaws applying to the sexual dimorphism section. It would also be good to include images that compare the size of the jaws of males compared to that of females. If there are current wikipedia articles about the stationary and strike feeding suction feeding, these could be linked to where those are mentioned in the draft.
Copy edit of draft 3:
- Amphiumas are primarily carnivorous amphibians that consume crayfish, insects, and other small vertebrates. Similar to many salamanders, the amphiuma has two distinct forms of suction feeding procedures: stationary and strike. This gives them the ability to feed on living or dead food sources. An amphiuma’s ability to displace its jaw to feed indicates that it can consume a large variety of organisms; however, its narrow jaw makes it difficult for them to fully consume large prey, such as crayfish or mice. In these cases, amphiuma will use one of the forms of suction feeding then rip the prey into prey into pieces until fully consumed. Small prey will be pulled completely into the mouth before being eaten. The structure of the teeth within the jaw tends to be arched caudal on the head.
Draft 4: This is a great draft of what will be added to the section on food habits. The current plan for more information that will possibly be added sound like good information to also include. The sources used for this draft are credible, and the information is organized well. A few changes could be made to improve the sentence structures/wording.
Copy edit of draft 4:
- In addition to eating frogs, snaked, fish, crustaceans, and insects, amphiuma have been found to eat annelids, vegetables, arachnids, mollusca, and insect larvae. Arguably, amphiumas prefer crawfish as food, which they will pursue over any other food in captivity. In the wild, their food choices are directly related to the availability of food. It has been suggested that large amphiuma will not pursue small crawfish due to the expenditure of energy in relation to the gain in energy; therefore, they prefer to wait for large crawfish to prey upon. In captivity, the behavior they display has been observed to depend on the presence or lack of food. Amphiuma will remain inactive when food is absent, but they will become more active once food has been introduced into their habitat.
Caduceus19 (talk) 05:40, 23 March 2018 (UTC)\
--Review--
This is looking like a great draft! The language used makes the concepts at hand understandable without compromising content, and sources are all from appropriate sites/resources. Really great organization guys!! Some points to consider:
1)I am confused how the Food Habits will fit into the already existing Amphiuma page. Within the present page, under the behavior section there is some talk of their food sources and eating methods. Will this addition of food habits be adding into the behavior section or made as a separate section? Make sure that there is no repeated information and that your section works within or along side this existing section.
2)Make sure to add links to other Wikipedia pages within your sections. This will make things easier for readers to more fully understand the topic at hand. An example of this would be "amphiuma tridactylum" in the second sexual dimorphism section.
- The topic of jaw function was really interesting! My group is working with Moray Eel, which also struggle with the problem of a narrow jaw structure (but narrow in the opposite format). However, instead of narrowing the food options to smaller prey and using this suction method, they have developed a pharyngeal jaw that pulls the prey back towards the throat. I would be curious to look into the evolutionary relatedness of these features as well as why they wouldn't adapt to have a wider mouth.
01:46, 24 March 2018 (UTC)CallunaVulgaris (talk) [CallunaVulgaris]01:46, 24 March 2018 (UTC)CallunaVulgaris (talk)